Say Goodbye to Yesterday
by SmilinStar
Summary: ‘His eyes now red with strained unshed tears, Daniel softened his voice, “She’s dead Jack. Sam’s dead.”’ After a tragic accident the entire SGC is left reeling . . . including Sam . . .
1. Gone with the wind

**Say Goodbye to Yesterday**

**Disclaimer: **Belongs to whoever owns it; definitely not me

**Rating:** PG-13

**Pairing:** Sam/Jack

**Summary: '**His eyes now red with strained unshed tears, Daniel softened his voice, "She's dead Jack. Sam's dead."' After a tragic accident; the entire SGC is left reeling . . . including Sam . . .

**Author's Note: **This is set somewhere in season 7, pre-Pete

**Chapter One**

Gone with the wind

Sam was tired, injured, completely lost but most frighteningly of all; she was alone. The howling of the wind and battering of rain against the leaves, branches and floor of the forest did little to comfort her.

Exhaustion together with diminishing daylight forced Sam to reluctantly stop her search for the Stargate. She had absolutely no idea where the gate was and was running out of time in which to find it. The gash on the side of her head may have stopped bleeding but she was most definitely concussed and her left ankle was now the size of a giant grapefruit; obviously severely sprained.

Using the nearest tree as support, Sam gently slid down on to the wet earth. She winced slightly as her injured foot hit the ground at an odd angle, but quickly regained her look of sheer militant determination. It was the only thing keeping her going. If she allowed her shell to crack; she definitely wouldn't be getting out of here alive.

A slight breeze just then caused Sam to shiver, a stark reminder that if her injuries didn't kill her; the weather probably would. The fact that she was drenched right through to her underwear didn't help either. Lifting her knees, she hugged them to her chest. The tree offered some protection from the rain and wind but it could hardly be considered a shelter.

In terms of food she still had some supplies left over from earlier today. Enough for a short stay. That meant she had two options: find the gate or pray to god that _they _came back for her.

* * *

Daniel knew he was there before he had even turned the light on. He guessed they all had different ways of dealing with grief.

Teal'c was currently in the gym, pounding holes into the undeserving punch bag. Daniel had been walking aimlessly around the base until his legs had brought him here; Sam's lab. Incidentally, just where Jack had been sat in the dark for almost three hours now.

The young archaeologist watched as the Colonel squeezed his eyes shut in response to the blinding light before slowly blinking them open. He was staring right at Daniel. But he wasn't staring _at _him. His eyes were blank, dead, cold, shut. And in that single moment, Daniel understood. They had not lost just one friend today, but two.

"Jack," he spoke softly.

Jack made no hint of listening or answering.

Daniel tried again,

"Jack, maybe you should try to eat something."

"I'm not hungry," he didn't even sound angry, just plainly defeated.

Daniel dropped the issue knowing it would be a pointless argument. Instead he walked over to the seated Jack and sat on the stool facing him.

Jack looked up.

"I came here to be alone."

It was an icy statement cutting through the air like a knife but Daniel remained undeterred. He would be damned if he had to work with the Colonel of seven years ago. The cold, hard assed, soulless militant man still fighting his inner demons. Daniel knew this was killing him, all over again. He had taken Charlie's death so hard. In fact Jack had pretty much taken the job at the SGC in the hope that he'd be killed in action to escape his own whirlpool of misery. Now that he'd lost Sam as well . . . suffice it to say, Daniel was _very _scared.

"I know," Daniel replied, "You've been in here alone for nearly three hours. I thought you could do with some company."

"You thought wrong."

"Right," Daniel muttered rubbing a hand over his tired face.

Silence filled the room; the hum of Sam's computer the only background noise. Jack had refused a direct order from Hammond to turn it off. The General seemingly understood and had left the matter alone. The flickering lights of Sam's equipment were a small comfort to them all.

Predictably it was Daniel, who broke the silence again,

"Sam wouldn't want you to do this, Jack."

"Do what Daniel?" Jack snapped.

"It wasn't your fault."

"No, that's right, cos nothing's ever my fault!"

"You didn't push her."

"I may as well have."

"You were arguing, yes. But that didn't cause her to slip Jack. We were in the middle of a storm. We could hardly see a metre in front. It was wet, windy and dark. We couldn't have known what would happen."

"I could have gone in after her. I could have gotten her out."

"What and killed yourself too?"

"She's not dead!" Jack yelled with such ferocity that Daniel nearly fell backwards over his stool. Standing up, he yelled back in the Colonel's face,

"She's gone Jack! It's not your fault or mine. So stop feeling sorry for yourself! We're all hurting. We were all there. Godammit Jack! We searched for six hours straight. There was no sign of her. You know as well as I do that there was a next to nothing chance she hadn't hit the rocks. There was nothing we could do." His eyes now red with strained unshed tears, Daniel softened his voice, "She's dead Jack. Sam's dead."

And with those heart wrenching last words; Jack knew it was the truth. She was gone.

* * *

A tingle of warmth spread its way up her legs and through her entire body. She was there. She had made it. Her eyes were still heavy and they struggled to open in the bright light. Finding her strength, she forced them open. She didn't die for nothing. If this was heaven, she wanted to see it.

Heaven, it seemed, wasn't at all how she had pictured it. There were no magnificent gates, no clouds or harps. Heaven, it seemed, was a small five by six room with earth walls and a straw roof. A little fire was crackling away on the floor near her feet and a small window on the far wall said that it was apparently midday.

'Where were the angels?' Sam thought. Her question was answered as a face materialised in front of her. She had golden blonde curls with perfect porcelain facial features.

"Hello," she spoke, "How are you feeling?"

"Dead?" Sam whispered; her voice hoarse.

The kind face smiled softly, "No dear child. You are not dead. Although you gave us little hope that you would survive."

"What happened?"

"We were hoping you could tell us?"

Sam frowned, desperately searching her mind for any recollections.

Noticing her distress, the woman grasped her hand and patted it,

"Do not worry my dear, the memories will return. Now what is the name you go by?"

She bit down on her lip. Name? What was her name? She couldn't remember. She couldn't remember a thing.

**A/N 2: Well? What did you think? Please review and let me know, I would greatly appreciate it, thank you!**


	2. Memory Loss

**Say Goodbye to Yesterday**

**Disclaimer: **Belongs to whoever owns it; definitely not me

**Rating:** PG-13

**Pairing:** Sam/Jack

**Summary: '**His eyes now red with strained unshed tears, Daniel softened his voice, "She's dead Jack. Sam's dead."' After a tragic accident; the entire SGC is left reeling . . . including Sam . . .

**Author's Note: **This is set somewhere in season 7, pre-Pete

**Chapter Two**

Memory Loss

"I can't remember," Sam stuttered, eyes wide. She tried to push herself into a sitting position, but the woman gently pushed her back down on to the pillow.

"You must rest."

"Why can't I remember?"

The woman sighed before sitting down on the hard mattress beside her.

"My son had an errand to run on a neighbouring farm. The previous week we had suffered a monstrous storm and he had not been able to travel earlier as he pleased. It was only when the rain had quietened; he had left for this task."

Sam listened intently; hoping she would offer some explanation with her story.

"He took a short cut through the forest, where he stumbled upon you."

"Me?"

"Yes child. You were very badly injured. Your head and foot showed signs of great damage and the rain and cold made you quite ill. You were unconscious when you were found and it is very possible that it was a combination of these that has caused your memory loss."

Sam gingerly lifted her fingers to the side of her head; the tips grazed the forming scab there. Her eyes then travelled down her left leg to her carefully bandaged ankle,

"Thank you."

The woman smiled, "I am sure your memory will return to you. Maybe then you can return home. For the time being you are more than welcome to stay."

Sam could only thank her again. She watched as the woman got up from her bed and made her way over to the near door, before she realised something;

"I'm sorry," Sam spoke, "But I don't know your name."

The woman turned back around to face her,

"Amara."

* * *

A week, maybe more had passed. Jack hadn't really noticed. He got up and out of bed because he knew he had to. Just as the sun rose and set, Jack did the same; all the while becoming more distant and detached. Daniel, Teal'c, even Hammond had tried talking to him; getting him to open up, but Jack O'Neill _did not_ open up to anybody.

Hammond worried about his mental health had ordered another psych evaluation. Begrudgingly Jack had taken it. It was either that, or be taken off active duty. The General had in fact been keen to do just that; it was too much of a risk sending SG-1 out on missions so soon after the loss of Major Carter. But Jack had literally begged on hands and knees to be allowed through the Stargate. It was the only thing keeping him sane.

The missions weren't anything too heavy. It was the usual 'meet and greet', 'make new friends', 'have a look around' type of missions. But something was better than nothing.

Sam's service had taken place two days ago. It had been a solemn affair; every face of every air man and woman had shown the devastation of the loss of such an amazing air force major and the most prized possession of the scientific world. Knowing it was only right to make a speech, as he had been her commanding officer and close friend, Jack had prepared something. On the day however, all preparation had gone out the window.

Truth be told, he couldn't remember a word of what he had said. It had all been so irrelevant, so meaningless. Words meant nothing. Prattling on about her intelligence, devotion, skill was not going to bring her back. She was gone and it hurt so damned much.

And so Jack did what he does best when faced with grief and hurt: he shut himself off from the world, and it was working just as planned.

He was sat in the commissary, plunging his spoon in and out of his oatmeal. His table was empty as he remained the sole person in the centre of the room. The surrounding tables were also devoid of human life, most people having picked up on the 'leave me alone' vibes radiating from the general direction of the Colonel. All except Daniel and Teal'c. They were not ones to give in that easily.

Jack sent them both an unabashed glare as they laid their breakfast trays on the table directly in front of him. It was quite a sight. Teal'c with his large and overwhelming stature standing beside a skinnier Daniel, but equally as serious; it was almost like a police interrogation. It was so cliché, Jack almost laughed.

He watched as some form of non verbal communication continued between the pair.

Slamming his bowl down on to the table, Jack finally got their attention,

"What?" he barked.

Daniel shrugged,

"Nothing," he said as he sat down and started digging into his cereal.

Teal'c saying nothing followed suit.

They were both playing mind games. Jack knew it and they both knew that he knew it.

"If you have something to say, spit it out!"

Daniel looked as if he were contemplating answering this but Teal'c beat him to it,

"General Hammond has requested that we clear Major Carter's laboratory."

Jack's face remained impassive, "Fine."

Daniel's eyebrows shot up in question; he had obviously expected some resistance,

"Are you sure?" he asked, "It was a request, not an order. You don't have to if you don't want to-"

"Daniel," Jack interrupted, "I said I would, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did."

"Right," picking up his tray and pushing himself out of his chair, Jack stood up and left the commissary after dumping his tray with the rest of the washing up.

Daniel and Teal'c remained seated; neither looking forward to the dreaded task either.

* * *

Sam smiled politely before swallowing the soup down. It was horrid. But she was in no position to offend anyone and besides she needed to eat.

Amara had visited her often in the midst of doing her share of the work on the farm. She was a widow with two children; a son named Hans, after his father, and a younger girl named Tarla. She was the spitting image of her mother. Sam had seen her earlier as she had brought in the freshly collected milk. She had stopped to say hello, before hurrying off to do more chores.

They were all so friendly; Sam had begun to feel at home. She soon realised though that as welcome as she was, she didn't belong here. There was just something so odd about the place. She took this to be good news. Her memory was coming back. It wasn't anything so significant yet, but it was a start nevertheless.

**A/N 2: Wow, thank you for all the reviews! I hope that cleared some of your questions about Sam's memory loss, it was the concussion that caused it and she didn't show symptoms earlier because, well, the brain can just be very random sometimes! Anyway, please continue to review, they inspire me to write more, thank you!**


	3. Small Discoveries

**Say Goodbye to Yesterday**

**Disclaimer: **Belongs to whoever owns it; definitely not me

**Rating:** PG-13

**Pairing:** Sam/Jack

**Summary: '**His eyes now red with strained unshed tears, Daniel softened his voice, "She's dead Jack. Sam's dead."' After a tragic accident; the entire SGC is left reeling . . . including Sam . . .

**Author's Note: **This is set somewhere in season 7, pre-Pete.

**Chapter Three**

Small Discoveries

'Major Carter had been a master of deception' Daniel mused. On the surface her haven of electronic gadgets and hi tech gizmos had looked flawless. Not a single thing out of place, unless of course she was working on something (which had been pretty much all the time).

Her drawers and cupboards however told a different story. Covered in dust, full of odd bits and pieces, spare parts; it looked as if she had never cleaned the place once in her life. The mess made Daniel smile fondly, but he was soon hit with a wave of such nauseating sadness and despair that he literally shrunk to the floor. He sat head in hands; waiting for the sickening feeling to pass.

"Doctor Jackson, are you not well?" Daniel heard Teal'c ask.

Looking up, he replied, "I'm fine. I just had to stop for a little while."

Teal'c inclined his head in understanding, "Very well."

Turning around, the Jaffa returned to gathering up Sam's numerous astro- and wormhole physics books and piling them neatly inside a cardboard box.

Jack hadn't turned up.

Neither Daniel nor Teal'c had seemed too surprised by this. It had perhaps been for the best as there was no way in knowing just how much the Colonel would be able to handle. This was hard enough for them as it was. And though they loved Sam too; it was a rather different kind of love. Not of any less value, but different. Both Daniel and Teal'c knew exactly how he was feeling, which meant they also realised it was a wound that would never heal and a scar that would never fade.

* * *

She was feeling better, much better, and she was eternally grateful to Amara and her family for the role they had played in causing that. So much so that as soon as she had strength enough to stand and walk, she persisted in helping where she could with the daily running of the farm.

Her ankle was not yet fully healed and she was still quite weak; so her jobs were not too strenuous, but they kept her active and occupied. She was given a clean white dress of native natural fibres to wear. With its ankle length skirt and long sleeves, it was modest attire; fitting nicely with their way of life. She had been shown the items of clothing she had worn when she was found. They were ripped and tattered and though they had triggered no memories, Sam was sure they would soon. For one, the odd symbol of an incomplete triangle on the sleeve looked peculiarly familiar. Thinking they would aid a speedy recovery, Sam left them close by her bed.

"You are not very good at this," Tarla noted.

Sam looked down at her cut vegetables. Whilst Tarla's green stick of 'something' was cut into perfect, regular, thin slices; Sam's pieces were haphazard, jagged and chunky.

Sam smiled, "You're right, I'm hopeless."

Tarla continued chopping as Sam opted to sit and watch.

"Have you still no recollection of your name?" she asked.

Sam shook her head, "No."

"Well then we must give you a temporary name. Perhaps one suited from where you came?"

"Well I don't know where I came from."

"You are not from here that is for sure. The fibres of your clothing are that of nothing we have ever seen before."

At this Sam's eyes widened, "Do you mean I'm from another . . . country?"

Tarla put the knife down to ponder this, "It is possible you had travelled from the Eyesha Kingdom. They are most advanced in technology and medicines. More so than us Frosyans."

"Frosyans?" Sam asked.

"Yes it is what the people of the Kingdom of Frosya are called. Named after his lordship."

"So are you saying I'm a foreigner?"

"Possible but unlikely. There is a great rivalry between our kingdoms. You cannot have passed our borders so easily. If this is so, than I am troubled by your origins. My mother is perhaps the more knowledgeable on this matter," Giving a tentative smile, Tarla picked up the knife again and resumed chopping, "It would be best to ask her."

Sam nodded mulling over what Tarla had just revealed. This had just got so much stranger.

* * *

Everyone had gone home. Well almost everyone. Daniel had offered to give him a lift home, but Jack had declined, saying instead he would catch a lift with Siler.

"Siler?" Daniel had asked.

Jack knew it wasn't entirely plausible. Jack and Siler lived on the opposite ends of town, so Daniel's scepticism was well within its boundaries.

"Yes," Jack said defensively.

Daniel threw his hands up in the air, "Well if you're sure."

"Yes, Daniel I'm sure," Jack snapped.

Daniel took the hint and made his way. Jack of course had lied. It was now roughly three in the morning and he was still at the base.

He was well aware that he hadn't turned up to clear out Carter's lab. The truth was he would have rather done it alone, without Daniel or Teal'c there staring at him continually with concerned faces just it case he might break like a fragile china doll. Jack was not a doll and Jack refused to be fragile.

As it had turned out Carter's lab had been quite a minefield, and it wasn't completely cleared. Jack, a man of his word, decided now was probably the best opportunity he would have to help with a task he wished he didn't have to do in the first place.

Reaching to the side wall, he flicked the lights on. The hum of the computers and electronic equipment was absent; amplifying the night time silence.

Jack walked over to her desk, it was practically empty except for a few files scattered across it. Picking them up, he shuffled them together and dropped them into an empty cardboard box.

With a heavy sigh, he sat down on her chair and pulled her top drawer open. Apart from a ball of string, a box of pins, paperclips and pens, something else leapt out at Jack. Digging his hand under the stationery store, he felt a smooth, cold surface beneath his fingertips. Grasping at it he pulled it out and stared at it.

It was a photograph.

Sam was in the centre, clearly in a fit of hysterics as Jack lay in a puddle of mud, completely drenched. He was scowling. He wasn't the only one. Daniel seemed to have walked backwards into the prone Jack and had fallen half on top of, half beside him. Teal'c was standing beside Sam, with that same infuriating smirk that one never usually associated with the straight faced Jaffa.

Jack remembered the mission well. It was about three years ago. They had travelled to P5X-something-or-other together with SG-5. One of the airmen had just been at the right place at the right time and taken the photograph with Daniel's camera. Jack had ordered the immediate destruction of the embarrassing photo, but it seemed Sam had managed to save it.

He was glad she had.

Carefully placing the photograph back in the drawer, he went to push it shut. It stopped abruptly on its runners and didn't seem to want to close.

Groaning, Jack got down off the chair and on to his knees and pulled the entire drawer out of the table. A lot of the mess in the drawer was hanging off the sides, preventing it from shutting. Taking little care, Jack gathered up a pile of the junk and tossed it into a nearby box. Now with a lighter load, he lifted the drawer up again, aligning it with its runner; before stopping.

There on the underside of the desk seemed to be an envelope, attached by what appeared to be some tape.

Finding himself intrigued, Jack reached in and pulled it out. What was written on the envelope came as even more of a shock.

The handwriting was painfully familiar. Each letter of the single word flowed into the other elegantly as if a great deal of care had been taken to create perfection.

There on the top of the envelope was a single name:

'Jack'

It was addressed to him.

**A/N 2: Thank you to all those who reviewed and also thanks to my beta TTT1901**

**Please review and let me know what you thought!**


	4. Dear Jack

**Say Goodbye to Yesterday**

**Disclaimer: **Belongs to whoever owns it; definitely not me

**Rating:** PG-13

**Pairing:** Sam/Jack

**Summary: '**His eyes now red with strained unshed tears, Daniel softened his voice, "She's dead Jack. Sam's dead."' After a tragic accident; the entire SGC is left reeling . . . including Sam . . .

**Author's Note: **This is set somewhere in season 7, pre-Pete.

**Chapter Four**

Dear Jack

Jack tossed the envelope between his fingers; almost afraid of what was inside. Shutting his eyes tight, he slid his finger under the flap and ripped it open. On opening his eyes, he found himself staring at a yellowing piece of paper. Folding it open, Jack recognised the writing. The black ink had started to fade but it was still easily legible. With a heavy intake of breath, he started to read;

_Dear Jack,_

_If you're reading this, there are two distinct possibilities:_

_You're being nosy; i.e. you were rummaging through my top drawer and stumbled upon this, or;_

_Hammond ordered you to clear out my lab because . . . well because I'm dead._

_I'd be more inclined to go with the latter. In that case I guess it doesn't really matter about me calling you Jack or more importantly what I'm about to tell you. They can't really court martial a dead person, can they?_

It was night in Frosya. A cold night. Amara was already in bed, as was Tarla. Hans was out somewhere; but that wasn't what was occupying Sam's mind.

'It was an odd symbol,' she thought silently as she stared at the circular patch on the sleeve of the jacket. Tarla had practically told her earlier that she didn't belong here. It wasn't anything she didn't already know but it put pressure on her to figure out exactly where home was. The sooner the better; she didn't want to overstay her welcome.

And so that was the reason for her staring mercilessly at the incomplete triangle for the past hour. So far she was still empty handed.

_I have wanted to write this for so very long, I just couldn't find the time or maybe I'm just making up excuses. I guess it comes down to words. Words. I don't think words would ever be enough for me to express what I'm feeling but I guess I have to try. With our jobs, you never know what fate will have in store (pardon the cliché, and yes I do know how you feel about those). I have been lucky so many times, I've lost count and I know my luck will run out sooner or later._

_Hence why I wrote this._

Feeling the call of sleep overpowering her, Sam finally dropped the jacket and slowly laid her head on to the pillow. Her eyes drifted shut. But not a second later they bolted wide open.

A brilliant, shimmering light of electric blue had nearly blinded her. Sam blinked rapidly; she was sure she had nearly remembered something. Desperately she tried to conjure the image again, but this time it was to no avail.

_I probably should have told you this earlier. Scrap that. I should have told you this earlier, but I don't think we ever really had the time or the opportunity. Except of course with the whole Zaytarc thing. I know I said then that 'it didn't have to leave the room;' but I wanted it to. So badly. I wasn't ok with it but I had to be. We had to be. _

_I was scared Jack. _

_Scared not only for our careers but for us._

Hot tears prickled at the back of Sam's closed eyelids; if only she could remember.

_I know this is probably the worst thing for me to say given the circumstance and I don't want to hurt you Jack. But you need to know. I need to tell you because I'll never rest in peace if you didn't know._

She just had this immense feeling that somewhere she mattered. Not just to one or two people but to so many; countless many. At this moment in time though, she just couldn't see how it was possible.

_I love you Jack._

Picking up the jacket once more; Sam stared at it again. It was so pointless; she had been here for so long now, she had lost count of the days. It was so frustrating. Why couldn't she remember? She wasn't ill anymore, she wasn't sick; she was eating healthily, moving around and keeping active; so why couldn't fate just give her a break. Hot anger flared up inside her and in a fit of rage she screwed up the fabric in her hands and hurled it across the room. It hit the far wall and slid to the ground in a heap. And that's when she saw him.

_I'm also pretty sure that you're probably blaming yourself for whatever happened. And I'm also pretty sure it's not your fault. So I beg you, please don't beat yourself up over it and don't take your frustration out on Daniel and Teal'c. They don't deserve it and neither do you._

He was sat in a chair across from her; strapped down by the arms with a head band across his forehead. He was staring right at her. No. Not even at her. Through her. And in those few seconds she had learnt all she would ever have to know about this man:

"I didn't leave because I'd rather have died myself than lose Carter."

Carter. Samantha Carter. That's who she was.

_Just do one more thing for me Jack._

_Be happy._

"She is remembering," said the man. He remained standing with his head bowed in a mark of respect or out of fear. It was not clear which.

"How can you be sure?"

"It is evident in her mannerisms; she is already aware that she does not belong here. It is only a matter of time before she fully remembers and leaves through the Stargate."

"We knew that she would remember eventually when we administered the drug long before when the remaining humans and the Jaffa were here. It was only meant to be a short term loss of memory in order that we gain her trust. Our original method of seeking information had been fruitless; this was the only way."

"I beg your pardon, Lord, but I do not understand. I believed that it was her injuries that were the cause of her memory loss."

"The drug caused both the accident and the memory loss. The injuries had no part, except to provide an excuse."

"I see. I apologise for my ignorance but what leads you to believe that she will disclose such information once her memory returns."

"She will have no choice in the matter and it is not of your concern. Your duty is to continue your hospitality and aid her recovery. She will tell us what we need to know and with her help the Eyeshans will be destroyed."

"Yes your Lordship."

"Go now Hans. Tell your mother she does well to serve me."

With a quick bow of the head again, Hans walked briskly out of the room. They were doing the right thing; he knew it.

_p.s. If it was option a); God help me._

A/N 2: Ok I hope nobody found that too confusing. Italics was the letter Jack's reading interspersed with what's going on with Sam at the same time.

Fire-Fie:A beta is like a second reader of a story; they check for any spelling or grammar mistakes before the story is uploaded. Hope that helps. This chapter hasn't been beta-ed, so its probably full of mistakes!

Thank you to all those who reviewed last time, please continue to review!


	5. Missing You

**Say Goodbye to Yesterday**

**Disclaimer: **Belongs to whoever owns it; definitely not me

**Rating:** PG-13

**Pairing:** Sam/Jack

**Summary: '**His eyes now red with strained unshed tears, Daniel softened his voice, "She's dead Jack. Sam's dead."' After a tragic accident; the entire SGC is left reeling . . . including Sam . . .

**Author's Note: **This is set somewhere in season 7, pre-Pete.

**Chapter Five**

Missing You

When Daniel returned to Sam's lab the next morning; it was empty. Each surface was spotless; every drawer and cupboard bare and not a single box was left open. All of them having been taped up neatly and stacked in the corner. It seemed the elves had been at work; if Daniel actually believed in elves. It was perhaps more plausible that Jack had kept to his word.

Flipping the light switch to off again, Daniel made his way back down the corridor towards the briefing room. He was already running late for the 0800 briefing and so Daniel decided to pick up his speed a little. He needn't have bothered.

On entering the room, he realised he wasn't the only one who had had trouble getting up this morning.

General Hammond was sat at the head of the huge table literally twiddling his thumbs, whilst Teal'c sat straight backed, stoic faced in his chair.

"Sorry I'm late General," Daniel said staring at the scene through his glasses.

"Well son you're not the only one," Hammond sighed.

"Uh," Daniel stammered wondering how to answer that, "Do you want me to go and find him?"

"That won't be necessary; Teal'c has already gone in search of him once."

"He does not appear to be on base," Teal'c spoke.

"Oh," Daniel's forehead creased in worry. It wasn't like Jack to be late. Ok well, yes it was likely, but him being off base as well? "Oh," Daniel said again as he sat down beside Teal'c. Where was he?

* * *

The car pulled up to the driveway of the familiar house. Perhaps familiar was the wrong choice of word. Of course he had been to Sam's house before but he had never been a regular visitor. Pressures of work and of course regulations were a good enough excuse. Still, Jack was familiar enough with Sam's house to know where she hid the spare key.

He was however still sat in the driver's seat of his truck staring, questioning his actions. It hadn't taken him long to read the letter she had left him but to him it seemed a lot longer than it actually had been. He hadn't left the lab until about six thirty in the morning. He had just sat there waiting for dawn, much like he was doing now, except he had no idea what he was waiting for this time around.

He had needed the fresh air, time to think. Sam's declaration of love from the grave had unsettled him, he was out seeking clarity and closure, and he had thought he would gain that here. Looking up at the cold, empty, distant house; he understood now that he had been wrong. His only source of clarity was Sam. But she was gone. And dear God, he missed her. He missed her incessant techno babble, scientific nonsensical gibberish, and her skilfully witty comebacks to his taunts that bordered on insubordination but never quite were. He missed her ever changing blonde hair and her round beautiful blue eyes. But most of all; he missed _her_. Plain and simple. Closing his eyes at the image of her, he let his head drop on to his steering wheel.

"Damn it," Jack muttered. He was going to go insane. Lifting his head back up, his eyes latched on to the digital numbers of the clock in his dashboard.

"Oh crap," he muttered slightly louder this time. 0836. He was late for their briefing. 'Bugger all' he thought as he turned the key in the ignition. He was half an hour late already; there wasn't much point in rushing, now was there?

* * *

"Samantha?" Amara raised her brows in question. The expression seemed oddly familiar to Sam but she still couldn't quite place it. "That is a very strange name."

"Well I suppose it would be," Sam answered, "If I'm not from around here."

Amara smiled, "Why yes of course. I do beg your pardon if I sounded in any way critical; it was not my intention."

Sam shrugged, "No, no it's fine."

Amara got up from her seat where she had been pouring grain from a sack into a bucket, "I am most pleased for you that your memory is returning. Perhaps you will remember where you are from soon."

"Let's hope," Sam smiled as she graciously took the heavy bucket from Amara, "Not that I'm not grateful for what you've done for me, I don't want to sound-"

Amara interrupted her, "I too am grateful for your help," she nodded towards the bucket, "and besides it has been comforting to have another soul living with us. Hans is much older, he spends little time with us; the pressure of trade weighing heavy on his shoulders. No it is you Samantha who is doing us the greater service."

Sam didn't know how to answer that and so she nodded briefly at Amara's acknowledgement before standing up with the bucket and heading out of the small house on to the farm.

It was a very bright morning but the air was cold and Sam had to tighten the shawl around her shoulders in an attempt to keep out the biting iciness of the air. It was odd how her surroundings seemed so inviting, the blue skies, and the lush green trees perfectly still in the absence of wind; yet it was not at all welcoming. The coldness played a role but it was more the fact that the picture looked almost too perfect; it was unnatural.

Sam shrugged it off and made her way down the dirt track that led to the chickens' pen. Her skirt was long enough to touch the ground and became rimmed with dirt; there wasn't much she could do about that.

Standing by the wooden fencing, Sam dug her hand into a bucket full of grain and threw a handful into the pen. It scattered across the ground and Sam watched as a frenzy of movement erupted from the otherwise mundane, laidback chickens.

It was a nice peaceful life, working on a farm, but Sam thought it was missing something. It was too 'routine'. There was no excitement and, from the flashes of memories she had recalled, her 'previous' life had been far from boring. She had remembered the most random of images. The one that featured most was that of a huge ring that stood towering at the end of a ramp. A brilliant blue puddle shimmered in the centre. She couldn't quite remember what it was called yet, but gut instinct told her it was important.

She was pulled out from her reverie as she heard a familiar voice call her name,

"Samantha!"

Turning around she smiled at the sight of Tarla running up to her,

"Mother has just told me that you have remembered your name. Have you remembered anything else? Places? People?"

Sam chuckled, "Tarla, slow down." It seemed she was more excited than herself. "No, not yet."

Tarla appeared slightly crestfallen,

"Nothing? Nothing at all?"

"Well not nothing," Sam gave in as she perched on the fencing; the feeding frenzy behind her having calmed down slightly,

"I do remember a face."

"A face?" Tarla questioned, brows raised, "What does it look like?"

"Um, well it was a man's face. He had short greyish hair and brown eyes and . . . I don't know . . ." Sam trailed off trying to picture the image again in her head, "I can't remember his name."

"O–Oh I am sure it will return to you," Tarla bit her lip; she had very nearly given herself away; but luckily Sam hadn't noticed.

"Yes I'm sure it will," Sam sighed before jumping off the fence, empty bucket in hand, "I think its time for a refill, I've still got the hens and geese to go. Are you coming?" Sam motioned towards the little farmhouse not too far in the distance.

"No, I must go and collect today's milk."

"Oh ok," Sam smiled as she watched Tarla walk back the opposite way she had come.

With her bucket swaying, Sam made it back down the dirt track towards the house; her skirt now covered with a second helping of mud.

* * *

Jack marched into the briefing room, flippantly pulled out the desk chair and sat down before leaning comfortably back. Of course he had noticed the stares from the three males in the room, come to think of it, the two airmen by the door were staring too, but Jack being Jack pretended as if he hadn't noticed a thing.

"Well good afternoon to you Colonel," Hammond said with no hint of amusement.

"Well it is a wonderful afternoon," Jack replied eyeing the wall clock. It was now forty seven minutes past nine in the morning.

Hammond continued to stare at Jack with a grim expression. Daniel and Teal'c's watchful eyes hadn't left him either.

Jack sighed in that 'ok fine, I give in' manner, "Sorry I'm late General. I needed to clear my head, went for a drive and time just flew me by. Won't happen again sir."

"See that it doesn't Colonel."

"Yes sir."

Hammond nodded, and then cleared his throat. It was his way of letting them know they were moving on,

"SG-6 returned yesterday from P6C-529. The Sarandonians have requested a trade. Colonel, I want you to take your team through the gate and negotiate the terms. You leave at 0900 tomorrow morning and you will now be given a more detailed briefing tomorrow morning at 0700. Do not be late." General Hammond emphasised his point by staring directly at the tardy Colonel O'Neill.

"Yes sir," Jack nodded.

Once the General had vacated the room, Daniel turned to face Jack. This was met by a roll of the eyes,

"Oh come on Daniel, don't give me that look!"

"What look?" Daniel asked innocently.

"That concerned, worried, brotherly look!"

"Brotherly?" Teal'c interjected.

Jack looked from Teal'c to Daniel exasperated, "Oh you know what I mean!"

"If we look concerned Jack, it's because we are."

"Well as touched as I am, you don't need to be."

"You're allowed to miss her you know," Daniel said.

Jack stared at them both. He had meant what he said when he used the word 'brotherly.' Maybe it had been in the wrong context, but they were like brothers to him. So if he was going to admit this to anyone; it could only really have been to them.

With an emotion laden face, he answered him, "I do Daniel. I do miss her."

* * *

A/N 2: Ah angst! Hehe, I'm torturing them all aren't I? Thanks to TTT1901 for beta-ing and a massive thank you to all those who reviewed, you keep reviewing and I'll keep writing, deal? Lol! Thanks again,

SmilinStar xxx


	6. River Water

**Say Goodbye to Yesterday**

**Disclaimer: **Belongs to whoever owns it; definitely not me

**Rating:** PG-13

**Pairing:** Sam/Jack

**Summary: '**His eyes now red with strained unshed tears, Daniel softened his voice, "She's dead Jack. Sam's dead."' After a tragic accident; the entire SGC is left reeling . . . including Sam . . .

**Author's Note: **This is set somewhere in season 7, pre-Pete.

**Chapter Six**

River Water

"How much more has she recalled?"

"Not much more, my lord."

"Maybe it is time to help her remember."

"Yes my lord."

* * *

He'd done it hundreds of times before but he still hadn't found the words to describe the feeling of emerging through the event horizon and the sound of his feet landing on the metal of the SGC ramp. He may have not known how to describe it but he did know that he loved it. Well he _used _to love it. He didn't have the energy to love anything anymore.

As was usual, Hammond was standing at the end of the ramp, awaiting their arrival,

"Colonel?"

"Well you know how I _love _negotiating sir, with you know . . . people . . . people who like to talk, but brick walls?"

Daniel, coming down from behind Jack, took one look at the General and decided once again it was he, who was going to have to be the one making sense,

"They won't trade the Naquadah," he explained.

"Not even for the vast array of weapons we've offered?"

"Oh no sir," Jack answered, "Seems the old folks have had a change of mind!"

Hammond sighed, "Full debriefing at 1700."

"Yes sir," Jack answered before walking out of the gate room, closely followed by Daniel and Teal'c.

* * *

The little kitchen had warmed up quickly with both the stove and the fireplace alight. Sam was stood stirring what looked to be stew. If she had been the one to make it, it would never have looked as good as it did now. Luckily her job had been to just watch over it until both Amara and Tarla returned from the market.

Delving her spoon into the saucepan, Sam tried a bit. It seemed to be done and so she turned off the heat. It was at this moment she heard the front door open. 'Just in time,' Sam thought silently as she walked out of the kitchen and into the adjacent main room. But it wasn't Amara or Tarla who had returned. It was Hans.

Sam had seen Hans for a few moments every day; but never more than that. She had obviously thanked him for probably saving her life but it had never been more than a simple 'hello' or 'good morning.' Today, it had seemed, would be just the same.

"Hello," Sam said.

Hans looked up after he had hung up his coat, "Good day."

"Yes it is a nice day," small talk was something that came easily to Sam. It was also what she was most comfortable with.

Hands untied his boots and kicked them off, "Yes it is."

Sam believing that that was all their conversation would consist of, made a move back towards the kitchen, but was surprised by Hans initiating further talk,

"I hear that you are starting to remember?"

Sam turned back, "Yes I am."

"I am happy for you."

"Thank you."

Silence followed as Hans pulled out one of the chairs surrounding the small dinner table and sat down. Sam felt unsure of what to do next; it would probably seem rude to just walk off now and so she did the only thing she could do. She sat down too.

Hans sat still, his hands resting one on top of each other on the table. A minute or two of silence passed before a word was spoken.

"Do you remember anything from the day you were found?"

Sam shook her head, "I'm afraid not."

"I see," Hans nodded looking out of the small window on to the farm. Sam shifted slightly in her seat; the discomfort settling in.

"When you had first regained consciousness, I had suggested that I take you to the place in which I had found you that day," Hans turned back to face her, his eyes still not meeting her own, "Mother disagreed believing it would cause you much stress. Perhaps now that you have had the chance to adjust to your new surroundings, it is time to revisit the forest. It may trigger more of your memories."

Sam was dumbfounded; she had had no idea that any of this had transpired; most of all however, she was understandably irritated that she had not been consulted about this earlier. It may have helped her remember faster.

Receiving no reply, Hans added,

"That is of course if you wish to."

Sam snapped out of her thoughts, "No. No, I mean yes of course. That would be very helpful."

Hans got up; walked over to the front door and retrieved his coat, "Very well, we can go now."

"Now?" Sam asked eyes wide. What was the rush? Not that she wasn't eager, but it all seemed very odd, "Shouldn't we wait for your mother and sister?"

Hans draped the simple coat across his arm, "It should not take long; the forest is not far. But if you wish to wait there is no hurry."

Sam felt inexplicably bad. She was questioning his actions, though they were in all probability honest. Besides, it couldn't really do any harm. Like Hans said; it wouldn't take long and if she saw that it was getting late, she could always head back.

With her decision made, Sam stood up, "Let's go."

* * *

"Well today went well," Daniel muttered. It would have been to himself had Jack not been listening,

"Now now Daniel, what's happened to your eternal optimism?"

Daniel's upper lip twitched but never quite turned up into a smile; he knew exactly where Jack was going with his little reply to his own rhetoric. Optimism was either for the foolish or the blissfully ignorant. There was no such thing as eternal optimism. Sam had shown them that.

"Are you heading home?" Daniel asked shutting the door to his locker.

Jack shut his own, "Yep."

Daniel nodded, "Oh ok."

Jack looked at his friend, "You can come round mine, if you've got nothing better to do."

Daniel looked genuinely surprised, "Are you sure?"

"No Daniel I'm not sure." Jack shook his head, "Of course I'm sure. Just make sure you invite T, don't want the big guy feeling left out. I'll be waiting in my truck," slapping Daniel on the back, Jack exited the locker room, leaving Daniel to hunt down Teal'c.

* * *

Sam was in the middle of a forest.

Yep, there was a tree in front of her, one behind her, another one over there; she was standing in the middle of nowhere. Hans insisted that this was exactly where he had found her. How he knew that, Sam wasn't entirely sure. This part of the forest looked precisely the same as the part they had just trampled through.

Listening carefully, however, Sam could make out a faint hissing noise in the distance that hadn't been present earlier. It sounded awfully familiar.

"What's that noise?" She asked looking up at Hans.

"The Great River."

A shiver ran down Sam's spine. She brushed it off, putting it down to the cold,

"The Great River?"

"Yes, it runs through the centre of Frosya and across the east side of Eyesha."

"Is it far from here?"

"Not very."

"Can we go?"

Hans looked at her, an odd expression plastered on his face at her strange request.

"Yes, but we must hurry or we may not be able to return before nightfall."

Sam nodded, "You lead the way."

Hans sidestepped past Sam and headed further into the forest; Sam followed closely behind.

* * *

The faint sound of the television drifted past Jack's eardrums. Jabba the Hut was currently slobbering all over the place. Daniel and Teal'c seemed to be engrossed in the film, even after seeing it numerous times. Jack for the life of him couldn't sit there pretending everything was hunky dory, when it clearly was not. So under the pretence of getting some water to drink, Jack left the two Star Wars lovers, Teal'c was probably the bigger fan but anyhow, he had left them both to enjoy the rest of the movie.

He just couldn't get her out of his head. It plagued him to no end. Maybe every few seconds he could learn to forget but an incessant niggling feeling at the back of his mind would remind him; he wasn't _allowed _to forget. No, that would be _too_ kind. Even in his sleep he couldn't escape her. He looked like hell. He knew it, everybody knew it.

Sighing, Jack moved over to the kitchen cupboard next to his fridge. Opening it, he grabbed the first clean glass he could find. He placed it under his kitchen tap and turned the knob roughly round. Water came out of the tap with a high speed whoosh, filling the glass to the top in less than a second. The water spilled from the round edges of the glass like a waterfall, yet Jack made no move to turn it off.

It was those damned voices again. More precisely, hers and his own. It was all flooding back to him and as try as he might he couldn't push it aside.

The sound of the vicious, merciless torrent of water bashed against his eardrums, _the wind ripping the words from his throat and the rain blurring his vision so that all he could see was the vague outline of an angel. An angel who seemed far too angry than an angel should be,_

"_Sir, you can't seriously be thinking about this!" she shouted over the roar of the river somewhere in the distance. It was near impossible to see._

"_Carter, all they want is a little tech info. They want to be able to defend themselves, isn't that exactly our own aim?"_

"_Yes sir, but they don't want it to defend against the Goa'uld!"_

"_And how do you know that Major?"_

"_Gut instinct."_

"_Well I'm afraid that's not enough! These opportunities don't come along often and I'll be damned if we blow it over your unwillingness to cooperate!"_

"_I can't believe this, I can't believe you! We've known them for what? Three hours? And you think you know them. With all due respect, sir," she spat, "You're deluded-"_

"_Major," Jack warned._

_But Sam paid no attention, she was livid,_

"_They have other motives. You just can't see it because you don't want to see it-"_

"_That's enough Carter!"_

_Sam snapped her mouth shut glaring at her commanding officer through the rain,_

"_What the hell is the matter with you?" Jack barked taking a step forward towards her. Sam instinctively took a step backwards, but it wasn't till after they heard Daniel screaming at them that they understood their mistake,_

"_Jack, Sam, get away from there!"_

_Jack swivelled around searching for Daniel, "Why?" he was about to ask but it fell dead on his tongue. A little gasp, which under these circumstances, should have escaped his notice, resounded through the air._

_Turning back to Sam; he wished he had never turned away in the first place._

_Of all times he could see clearly in this murderous storm was now, but it was a little too late._

_He could see her wide, lucid blue eyes staring at him; her skin a sickly pale shade, the fear was etched in every plane of her face. Yet she made no other sound._

_Jack lunged forward, his fingertips hitting cold wet air. Mercifully, he didn't see her fall; he didn't even hear the splash of the river twenty feet below._

"_SAM!" The name was torn from his insides by the howling wind, and all Jack could see as he lay down on the edge of the cliff, peering down into the deadly torrent, was a vast expanse of rocks and boulders being battered by the river._

_She was nowhere to be seen._

"_Sam," the single word was uttered again. This time so quietly, so controlled, no one would have known that Jack's heart had just been shattered into an infinite number of useless pieces._

"Jack?"

"Sam," he said again, his mind still stuck in the past.

"O'Neill!" Teal'c said much louder.

Jack dropped the glass in his hand; miraculously it didn't break, the water spilling out into the sink and being swept away down the plughole. Looking up, he met the startled eyes of his friends,

"She didn't hit the rocks," he said simply.

Daniel stared at him, "What?"

Jack took a step forward, "Sam didn't hit the rocks."

"Jack," Daniel warned.

"Daniel," Jack countered.

Teal'c stepped in, "If she had not hit the rocks, she would have been carried downstream. We did not find her."

"Exactly!" Jack burst out, "We didn't find her, but that doesn't mean she didn't get swept up elsewhere!"

"Jack don't do this to yourself," Daniel said, his eyes showing no glimmer of hope that was sparkling in the depth of Jack's.

"Don't you see guys? She could still be alive!"

"It's been nearly two weeks Jack. Think about this seriously."

Jack paid no attention, "We've got to go back, we've got to find her."

Grabbing his car keys, he barrelled past Teal'c; flung the front door open and practically sprinted down the steps towards his truck.

Daniel and Teal'c shared a quick look of unspoken agreement, and pelted after him. Daniel making sure to at least close the front door, if not lock it.

A/N 2: Phew! That was long! Anyway, hope you guys liked it! Thank you to everyone who reviewed and those who emailed me, I appreciate it very much!

About my updates. Well I try to update every Friday. This gives me a chance to get all my school work done, write the next chapter, get it beta-ed, type it up and then hopefully post it. So, if I do miss a Friday, it's either because 1) Exams and school work overload 2) Haven't finished the next chapter 3) My internets playing up or 4) a combination of all of them. I just thought I'd let you know so not to leave you guys hanging, anyway, hopefully I'll stay on target!

Please Review and let me know what you thought!

Love SmilinStar xxx


	7. Survival

**Say Goodbye to Yesterday**

**Disclaimer: **Belongs to whoever owns it; definitely not me

**Rating:** PG-13

**Pairing:** Sam/Jack

**Summary: '**His eyes now red with strained unshed tears, Daniel softened his voice, "She's dead Jack. Sam's dead."' After a tragic accident; the entire SGC is left reeling . . . including Sam . . .

**Author's Note: **This is set somewhere in season 7, pre-Pete.

**Chapter Seven**

Survival

It was quite spectacular. The wide neck of the river allowed the build up of quite a speed, the crystal clear water rippling past; it was simply beautiful. Behind her was miles of thick forest and on the other side of the river, lined a cliff on which the woodland continued. It was mesmerising but for all the wrong reasons. There was just something about the place that haunted her.

Hans was standing a little way back; giving her room to wonder. He had not said a word on their way here and their mutual silence had continued once they had arrived at the Great River's side.

Crouching down on to the dry ground, which was almost completely covered in moss and odd weeds, Sam let the tips of her fingers dip into the sparkling water.

There was that strange feeling again; it sent another shiver down her spine. 'It must be the cold, the cold water,' Sam reasoned mentally, denying the more sinister thoughts trying to surface.

Slowly, she plunged the rest of her hand into the water and this time there was no ignoring the cold. In relation to the rest of her body, only a tiny fraction of her bare skin was in contact with the moving water but it was enough; more than enough.

The cold was so overpowering now, _Sam couldn't feel a thing. According to her central nervous system, she no longer had any extremities and she was fast losing feeling in her limbs. It was wet. So very wet. The water weighed heavily on her fatigued and injured body; it was miracle she had managed to stay afloat._

_The rain was still pelting down; the wind hadn't quietened down either. Not that she could tel. The rapid flow of water, so very close to her ears, took precedence over that particular sense._

_She couldn't see it but she could feel it. Her head had taken a blow when she had fallen. She had scraped past one of the boulders as the current had pushed her down below the surface. By some bout of luck, she had narrowly missed hitting the rocks head on. It was probably the only reason she was still alive._

_Head injury or not, Sam still had enough sense about her to know that she had to get out of the water. Her weakened muscles wouldn't save her from drowning for much longer and she had absolutely no idea as to where the undertows would take her. She needed to swim to the banks, she resolved, but how was the question._

_Sam blinked rapidly, trying to shake the water from her lashes and focus her eyes. The rain was not helping. Sam looked wildly around, searching for something to latch on to. Anything that would give her added buoyancy would ease the stress off her body, giving her an opportunity to swim against the current to 'dry' land._

_Luckily the storm meant there were enough things bobbing along the surface, mainly twigs and branches. She just needed a particularly large one._

_Again it seemed where once fortune had been cruel it had decided to make amends at the most opportune of moments._

_Her fingers found the rough bark of a sizeable tree branch. She couldn't quite see how large it was, but testing against her body weight, she knew it would do just fine. Taking a deep breath, that also consisted of a mouthful of river water which she promptly sputtered out, Sam kicked her legs viciously steering herself against the strong current. She ignored the burst of pain that shot up her leg, as her injured ankle regained a sense of feeling, and charged on. She could only hope she reached Earth before her tiredness won out against the current . . . _

* * *

Hammond's head jerked away from the briefing and SG-12 by the incremental sound of Jonathan 'Jack' O'Neill and Dr Daniel Jackson arguing. He couldn't hear him but he was positive Teal'c wasn't far behind.

Turning fully around he watched the door, certain the three would make an appearance very soon. And sure enough there they were.

Jack rapped hard against the door looking back at an approaching Daniel, "I am not crazy!" he yelled.

Hammond cleared his throat.

Jack's head whipped around, his fist fell away from the door preventing a seventh consecutive knock,

"I'm sure you're not Colonel, but would you like to tell me what you're doing here interrupting this briefing?"

Jack actually had it in him to look sorry for his behaviour for a fleeting moment but that was soon painted over with a desperate sense of urgency,

"I'm really sorry sir, but this is really important. I, we, need to talk to you sir. Now sir."

Hammond stared at him,

"In my office, I'll be there in a second."

"Thank you sir," Jack breathed before turning around and heading in the right direction.

Daniel gave the General an apologetic shrug. Teal'c inclined his head and followed after the young archaeologist.

Hammond shook his head once they'd disappeared, 'What in God's name was going on?'

* * *

_Somehow she had made it. The feel of solid, if a little wet, earth had never been more welcome as Sam pushed herself up on to the bank with all her might._

_She lay motionless on the ground. A few minutes passing by as she reclaimed her strength. But it was beginning to feel too comfortable; she could feel her eyelids sliding shut. Sleep seemed like such a reasonable option. 'No!' her mind screamed, 'head injury, sleep, very bad!' it told her, 'must stay awake!'_

_Fighting her will, she rolled herself on to her stomach and slithered forwards on hands and knees. The cold was now more prominent than even before as she felt the wind kissing her soaked clothes and body. This was not good news. She needed shelter._

_Standing up hadn't been such a good idea. Her head was swimming in a cloudy haze as she staggered forward, leaning more weight on her better foot. The ground flora lashed at her feet as she walked down the side of the river; too scared to turn further into the dark unyielding forest._

_Finally, Sam came to a halt under a broad branched tree. It offered some protection; not a lot, but it was better than nothing. Exhausted, she slid down; telling herself this was only a short stop. She only wanted to rest awhile. Her will, this time, had not been nearly as strong enough and she soon drifted into unconsciousness; the black of the world settling in._

_What seemed like only a few minutes later, Sam opened her eyes unprepared for the dazzling light of the day. _The river was no longer a deadly turmoil, the wind was calm and it was relatively silent. Except for a single voice,

"Samantha?"

Sam's gaze shifted towards the direction of the voice and her eyes instantly found the owner of that voice. It was Hans. This meant that everything she had just experienced, she _had _in fact experienced. Just not presently. It had been a big missing part of her jigsaw; it was starting to piece together.

"Are you alright," Hans inquired, taking a tentative step forward.

Sam stood up from her position rather shakily, "Yes I'm fine. I'm sorry," she smiled, "I was in my own little world."

Hans nodded, eyeing her sceptically,

"We should head back, daylight is fading."

Sam agreed, "You're right, let's go."

* * *

"Will all of you please stop staring at me as if I were nuts?" Jack yelled tired of the concerned faces.

Hammond sighed. Ordinarily he would be rather annoyed, seething another word, that he had been _rudely _interrupted in the middle of a briefing; but this wasn't one of Jack's ordinary disregard for rules; this was very serious.

"Colonel," Hammond started, "You were the ones that returned through that Stargate," he pointed in the general direction of the gate, "And told me that Major Carter was dead. That there was no way she could still be alive. We all mourned for her, we had a service in her memory and now you're telling me, based on no evidence whatsoever, that she's still alive?"

Jack, who had been nodding emphatically along with every valid point in the General's little tirade, threw his hands up in the air exasperated,

"I know sir. You're right, but we never had any conclusive proof that she died in the first place. For all we know she could still be somewhere, on that planet, alive!"

Daniel pushed off from the wall on which he had been leaning the entire time.

"It's been two weeks Jack. Even if she didn't hit the rocks, she's probably still injured, suffering from severe hypothermia at any case. If she survived Jack, then I doubt she's still alive anymore."

"Then we let her down!" Jack yelled, "We should have gone back. No, scrap that. We should _never _have left."

Daniel became silent. Jack was actually right. They had left it too long. They had been too struck up in grief, too vulnerable to light any glimmer of hope, that they had let her down,

"He's right General," Daniel spoke quietly; "We should go back. We owe her that much."

Hammond shook his head, at a loss for words.

"We must at least try," Teal'c added moving up to stand beside the Colonel in a show of solidarity.

Hammond looked straight at Jack, his eyes searching,

"Colonel?"

"I _know _she's alive, sir. I don't know how, I don't know why I didn't realise sooner, but I know sir. I know."

"You have a go then," he nodded, this meaning as much to the general as it did to all of them.

"Thank you," Jack said. It was the most sincere 'thank you' that had ever graced his lips. He was going to find her and he was going to bring her home.

* * *

A/N 2: I know i missed this Friday, only because fanfic net wouldn't let me log on!

My readers are waning, please review!


	8. First Encounter

**Say Goodbye to Yesterday**

**Disclaimer: **Belongs to whoever owns it; definitely not me

**Rating:** PG-13

**Pairing:** Sam/Jack

**Summary: '**His eyes now red with strained unshed tears, Daniel softened his voice, "She's dead Jack. Sam's dead."' After a tragic accident; the entire SGC is left reeling . . . including Sam . . .

**Author's Note: **This is set somewhere in season 7, pre-Pete.

**Chapter Eight**

First Encounter

Sam stared at the faces; her mind retracing the simple question again and again. "What have you remembered?" Amara had asked. It was an innocent question, so why was she hesitating to answer?

By the time she and Hans had returned back to the farm; the sun had set, Amara and Tarla had been at home for over three hours and were found to be pacing furiously in the front room having no idea as to where they had got to. Sam had apologised profusely realising they should have at least left a note. Amara had accepted the apology after berating Hans a little more and everything had soon settled back down. It wasn't until the following morning that the topic of what had occurred by the riverside had arisen again and _the _question had been asked.

Sam had looked up from her plate; looking from one face to another. First Amara, then Hans and Tarla in that exact order. She had just had a weird sense of déjà vu and she now knew why she was hesitating to answer – she was suspicious.

Suspicion was a monster if ever there was one. It could dismantle the most invincible rationale, cause a sane man to turn paranoid with delusion and drive anyone and everyone to the edge. Sam could only pray it wouldn't get that far.

"Samantha?" Tarla asked forehead creased in concern, "Are you quite alright?"

Sam shook her head, "Sorry, yes, yes I'm fine." She looked up watching the three faces, "I just remembered some of what happened after the accident."

"Nothing from before?"

Again, another innocent question, a logical question, but it seemed they were pushing for something.

"No, just being in the Great River. Getting out and then being alone in the forest before falling unconscious."

"Well that is something is it not?" Amara smiled, and again Sam got a sense of déjà vu. There was a very odd familiarity about what she had just said. For a moment Sam couldn't place it but just like everything else she had remembered; it all came back to her in a rush:

"_Well that is something is it not?" The native woman smiled. Her name was Amara, if Sam remembered correctly. She seemed nice enough yet she still wasn't a hundred percent sure of her character. By the looks of it Daniel wasn't entirely sure either, but Jack seemed convinced enough,_

"_We would bring more, except my superiors think there's no need to rush over these things," he explained with a brilliant Jack O'Neill smile._

"_Sir," Sam called out quietly but firmly, "Can I talk to you outside for a second?"_

_Jack turned around from his seat at the dining table and arched his brows, "Carter?"_

"_Please sir."_

_Daniel shrugged his shoulders and Teal'c remained silent._

"_Excuse us," Jack said trying to smile before walking out the front door on to the farmyard._

_Once they were out of earshot, the Colonel turned back to the Major, "Carter?" he asked, "What the hell's going on?"_

"_About this deal with the Frosyans . . ."_

"_What about it?" _

"With all due respect sir, I just feel we're rushing into this a little blind."

"_What do you mean?" _

"We still don't know quite the extent of advanced weaponry and technology they possess. They say it's close to our level but have we seen any of it? And if we are going to help the Frosyans defend themselves against the Goa'uld, isn't it fair that we involve the Eyeshans in the treaty discussions?"

"_We are going to involve the Eyeshans in the negotiations, Carter," Jack replied seriously._

"_Yes I realise that sir, but what I'm trying to say is that the Frosyans told us that they would contact the Eyeshan delegates over a week ago. Where are they?"_

"_So what are you suggesting, Major?"_

"_Firstly, I think it would be prudent to have a closer look at their technology before we trade our own for Naquadah and secondly, we pursue investigating the whereabouts of the Eyeshan delegates."_

_Jack nodded, "Ok, I'll radio Hammond, let him know what's going on and you, explain this all to Teal'c and Daniel."_

"_Yes sir," Sam nodded before turning on her heel and heading back into the house. Jack turned in the opposite direction, heading in search of the Stargate . . . _

* * *

"Matthews, you and your team stay here, secure the gate and establish a perimeter." 

"Yes sir," the Major saluted before turning and barking orders to the rest of his team.

"Is this really necessary O'Neill," Teal'c asked.

"I'm pretty sure we won't be meeting any hostile natives," Jack answered, "Although they did seem a little peeved when we called off the talks. It's just in case."

"That appears to be wise."

"Why thank you buddy," Jack nodded. Leaving the Jaffa, he headed over to Captain Davies,

"Davies, I need you and your team scouring every inch of this forest."

"Yes sir."

They too scattered off, leaving Jack, Daniel and Teal'c behind.

"I'm guessing we get to see the Great River again," Daniel quipped.

"Got it in one Danny boy," Jack answered with a small smile; he was feeling good about this. She was somewhere here. He could feel it more strongly now they were on the planet. He didn't know exactly where, but he could _feel_ she was alive.

With that in mind, the Colonel set off down the path that led into the vast forest. The path had been left behind presumably from years of the natives travelling through, so if he trusted his instincts he knew it would lead them right to the river. Daniel and Teal'c followed one after the other; all three of them remaining vigilant for any signs of her.

* * *

_Their technology was amazing for a country so dependent on agriculture and rural peasants. How they had procured such means of defence raised a great deal of suspicion in Sam's mind. Nevertheless, it was still awe-inspiring. With Earth's help, they could very likely exceed the standards of their own technology. _

_Suspicious though she was; she couldn't fault them just yet. On requesting to see some of their laboratories, Hans, Amara's only son had acquiesced and brought her into the heart of the Frosyan capital. It was a small city with no permanent residents. All that existed here, as far as Sam was aware, were the governing buildings. The weapons labs obviously fell under the government's guard._

_They had come across Amara and her family soon after arriving on the planet. They had seemed awfully curious about them but other than that, friendly enough. When Daniel had started with his usual questions, typical of an anthropologist, it emerged that they, the Frosyans and themselves, shared a common enemy; the Goa'uld. Amara had taken them to see the Frosyan authority, where they were introduced to the council. Realising that both parties could benefit from a mutual alliance (the Frosyans had Naquadah and they had weapons), SG-1 had returned to Earth for further discussions with the president. It was agreed that a treaty should be negotiated. _

_That had been over a week ago. _

_Even then she had had her reservations and only now had they risen to the forefront of her worries, especially as the Frosyans seemed purposely elusive about their relations with the Eyeshans. She sincerely believed that this treaty was wrong on so many levels. She just needed evidence to back her claims._

"_What do you make of our technology?" Toron asked, he was the chief scientist, a dark haired and seemingly simple man. Appearances however could be deceptive; he was an utter genius. _

"_They're amazing," Sam answered honestly, stopping in front of a particularly small and shiny metal object. Almost reading her question before she had even asked it, Toron spoke up,_

"_It is a prototype from our new range of projectile weapons we are currently developing. Its size gives the soldier stealth in carrying a weapon and can launch over a distance of five hundred metres."_

"_Impressive," Sam smiled faintly, "I wonder if you need our help at all?"_

_Toron smiled but it was an uneasy smile. The undertones of Sam's question were perfectly clear, "I assure you, we have no ulterior motives. We simply wish to be able to protect our people from the monstrous means of the Goa'uld."_

_Sam nodded, "I assume the Eyeshans share the same desire?"_

_Toron nodded, "Why of course."_

_Sam decided it was probably best if she didn't pursue it any further. The Colonel was currently interrogating the council on the absence of the Eyeshans; she didn't really need to hound an innocent, clueless scientist as well._

"_What's this?" Sam asked. She had moved further along the side of the bench. In the centre was a pyramid shaped block of metal, the apex of which had a flat glass platform attached. Four green lines of light shot up from inside the shape illuminating the central, small hole in the peculiar object. Inexplicably drawn to it, Sam circled the hole with her index finger . . . _

"_Oh do not touch that!" Toron called desperately, rushing over._

"_Wh-ouch!" Sam pulled her finger away at lightning speed. A sharp pain had just shot up her finger and arm as she felt her skin being pierced. Turning her index finger over, she saw that there was a perfect circular dot of dry blood in the middle._

"_What was that?" Sam yelled._

"_I apologise," Toron said, "I should have warned you earlier. This is a piece of medical equipment we have been working on. It is an injecting machine."_

_Sam's eyebrow's shot up._

"_You do not have to look so worried, the vials are empty." To emphasise the point he opened up the latch at the side of the equipment. Peering in, Sam spotted the empty clear glass vial._

"_It is sensitive to heat and was activated by your finger."_

"_Right," Sam said not impressed in the least, "I think I should be getting back to the rest of my team. Thank you Toron for showing me around."_

_Toron bowed his head slightly, "It has been a pleasure and once again I apologise."_

_Sam smiled politely before heading out. If she had been thinking straight she would have realised that the vial being empty now, didn't mean it always had been. She wouldn't be realising that for quite some time . . . _

A/N 2: Thank you so much for the encouraging reviews, I shall persevere! Hope you guys liked this chapter and I hope it wasn't too confusing. Basically, Sam's beginning to remember. All italics are memories/what happened in the past and it will hopefully all soon begin to make sense . . .

Keep reviewing!


	9. Unanswered

**Say Goodbye to Yesterday**

**Disclaimer: **Belongs to whoever owns it; definitely not me

**Rating:** PG-13

**Pairing:** Sam/Jack

**Summary: '**His eyes now red with strained unshed tears, Daniel softened his voice, "She's dead Jack. Sam's dead."' After a tragic accident; the entire SGC is left reeling . . . including Sam . . .

**Author's Note: **This is set somewhere in season 7, pre-Pete.

**Chapter Nine**

Unanswered

Standing at the foot of the cliff with the water trickling passed behind him, Jack found it hard to remember just how vicious nature had been that night. Or maybe it was that he didn't want to remember. Staring up at the cliff, Jack felt slightly dizzy; the top was so high up, he wondered how she ever could have survived but he squashed the nagging doubt fast. Turning around, he called over to Teal'c, who was currently wading in waist high water,

"Any signs?"

Teal'c shook his head, "I will continue to search."

Daniel who was slightly further down added, "I don't think there's much point searching here Jack."

"What?" Jack yelled, not quite hearing him.

Daniel climbed up on to the dry bank, drenched,

"She's probably further down the banks."

Jack nodded, "I know, I'm just crossing off the possibilities."

Daniel stared at him.

Jack stared back, and then sighed.

"Yeah, you're right. Teal'c," he called out again, "Let's move down!"

Teal'c nodded.

* * *

"_So what did you find Major?" the Colonel asked._

_Sam came to a halt in front of him having walked from the laboratories to the Council's headquarters. It hadn't been a very long walk,_

"_Quite a lot actually," Sam started, "They held back on how advanced they are on the weapons front."_

"_Let me guess? More advanced than us?"_

"_Well kind of," Sam said. Jack's blank face invited her to elaborate, "In terms of projectiles, yes, but bombs and missiles, getting there."_

"_And so the problem is what?"_

"_Well sir, given the extent of further development their weapons programme can undergo, I find it a little . . . strange that they're giving us the Naquadah so freely."_

"_But they're not giving it to us for free, Carter. We're providing them with more weapons."_

"_Yes when they have no need for them."_

"_In that case, isn't this trade in our favour?"_

"_Maybe," Sam stated, "But I wonder at what cost?"_

"_Carter," Jack intoned._

"_Sorry sir," Sam answered noting her Commanding Officer's irritation with all her hypothetical questioning,_

"_I think they may have other motives, I just need time to figure out what."_

_Jack seemed to be thinking it through, sighing he finally answered her regretfully, "Request denied Carter."_

"_But sir-"_

"_Sorry Major, but I don't see us being in any immediate danger here. The Frosyans hardly seem the sneaky, manipulating sort. We help them, they help us, I say we get going before they change their minds."_

_Sam glared at the Colonel. Her eyes were now a deeper shade of blue and startlingly piercing. Jack furrowed his brows at the transition. Her jaw was set and her stare calculating,_

"_Fine."_

_With that, she turned on her heel and walked down the almost barren corridor of the ministry building, leaving behind a very stunned Jack O'Neill and two equally surprised SG-1 members. Daniel and Teal'c's "hi" and "Major Carter" had been met with stony silence as Sam walked straight past them as they had approached and she had left._

"_What's going on?" Daniel asked a motionless Jack._

"_I have no idea, but I'm gonna find out," Jack said snapping out of his daze and walking briskly after her._

* * *

Trudging along the muddied banks, Jack was so entirely focussed on his goal that he very nearly missed the sound of his own radio crackling had it not been for Teal'c,

"O'Neill," was all he had to say.

Jack reached into his pocket, taking out the device; he talked into the receiver,

"Yeah Davies, I'm listening over."

". . . found . . . device . . ." The sound was distorted, Jack hardly made out a single word.

"Repeat Davies."

"Sorry sir" came the reply, much more coherent now, "Poor signal. We found a radio wave transmission device, over."

"Is it one of ours?"

"Could be sir. It seems a little battered though. Johnson here's trying to take it apart and look for the SGC serial. It could be the Major's sir, over."

"Roger that Davies, where are you?"

"About five clicks south south west of the Stargate, sir."

"We'll be there ASAP. Stay put, over and out."

Jack looked back at Daniel and Teal'c, "Let's go."

* * *

_By the time they returned back to Amara's home, the friendly natives had set up a farewell dinner, presuming all SG-1's business with the officials had finally been taken care of._

_Jack's first thought was not, 'oh you shouldn't have' but "Where's Carter?"_

_Tarla, the young daughter shrugged, "She has not returned. Is she not with you?"_

_Jack didn't answer. Instead, he turned on his heels and walked out the front door again. Daniel and Teal'c could do nothing but follow, though they didn't get very far. Jack had stopped abruptly midway across the farmyard. The reason? Sam had finally made an appearance, yet she seemed completely untroubled by her behaviour – nothing at all like the obedient Major Samantha Carter. Jack had every reason to be concerned,_

"_And where did you go?" Jack asked, his tone making clear his disapproval._

"_For a walk," Sam shrugged._

"_Like hell you did," Jack yelled, "That's it; we're going back to Earth. I'm sorry Amara," he turned briefly back towards the Frosyan, "But we have to go now. Thank you very much for the dinner but my second in command here has an appointment with the Doc that she can't possibly miss."_

_Tugging at Sam's arm, Jack pulled her after him as they headed for the Stargate, but not quick enough that Sam didn't overhear the whispers,_

"_Will it work?" Amara asked._

"_It's already working, "Hans answered, "Dark clouds loom and nightfall is waiting."_

'Dark clouds loom and nightfall is waiting,' the words seeped into her conscious mind and Sam found herself staring wide eyed at the three native Frosyans. Panic clawed at the pit of her stomach, threatening to empty her guts on to the plate in front of her,

"Are you alright Samantha?" Tarla asked her expression identical to her mother's and her brother's.

Sam felt the words "You lied to me," on the tip of her tongue but something held her back. Something bigger was going on here, she didn't know what, why or even who, but she couldn't let them know she had remembered. Remembered what exactly, she wasn't quite sure, but survival instinct commanded she kept her lips sealed,

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. I was just thinking-" Sam stopped.

"Of what?"

"Oh nothing. It's silly really. I was just thinking, what if I never remember?" Sam mustered a sad mixed with a little scared expression. 'Not bad' she thought silently, her acting surprisingly wasn't all that atrocious. They were falling for it,

"Oh do not worry yourself Samantha, you will eventually, I am sure of it."

'Yes,' Sam thought cynically, 'That's what worries me.'

It was either the fact that they seemed so entirely sure or the more pressing fact that they wanted her to remember what they had done to her that worried her. The question revolving around inside her head was simply, 'why?'

A/N 2: Sorry! I know it's been ages since I updated, I'm sorry but I've had a very stressful, busy month! This chapter was a little on the short side but the next one is much longer. Please review and let me know your thoughts, thanks!

SmilinStar xxx


	10. Midnight Musings

**Say Goodbye to Yesterday**

**Disclaimer: **Belongs to whoever owns it; definitely not me

**Rating:** PG-13

**Pairing:** Sam/Jack

**Summary: '**His eyes now red with strained unshed tears, Daniel softened his voice, "She's dead Jack. Sam's dead."' After a tragic accident; the entire SGC is left reeling . . . including Sam . . .

**Author's Note: **This is set somewhere in season 7, pre-Pete.

**Chapter Ten**

Midnight Musings

Jack stared down at the shapeless piece of metal and plastic; a frown fixed firmly on his face,

"So?" he asked.

"I believe it's the SGC's. The wires and most of the casing's fried but in all probabilities, it was Major Carter's sir."

"Right," Jack muttered.

"It appears to have been deliberately sabotaged," Teal'c offered on closer inspection.

"What possible good could that do?" Daniel asked no one in particular. Jack wasn't listening; the possibilities running through his head. This confirmed that Sam had at least made it out of the river. What worried him now was what happened next? There were only two possibilities and Jack was pinning his hopes on the lesser of the two evils,

"I reckon we need to go pay the village folk a little visit, nice and early tomorrow morning." Nightfall was still a good few hours away, the days in this world being shorter than most, but Jack figured it would be best to carry on tomorrow since they had been searching for a good six hours. His men were tired; trudging on now would only prove fruitless. Besides they probably needed to be at their most alert if they were going to be dealing with hostiles, if Sam's radio was anything to go by.

"Johnson," Jack turned towards the fair headed Lieutenant, "Radio Matthews, and tell him I need him to set up camp within the perimeters of the Stargate, and to maintain contact every hour."

"Yes sir."

"Right, everybody else, the forest will be our home for the night," Jack smiled wryly. He wasn't particularly fond of the great outdoors anymore, recent events having disillusioned his love.

"Davies, take the rest of your team and set up a perimeter and I guess I'll take first watch," he added almost reluctantly. He knew he'd rather still be looking for her, but he needed to be in command. It would do little for Sam if he instructed with his heart and not his head.

* * *

Sam was alone. Not just literally by the fact that she was sat up in bed in the little guest room with just her mindless wanderings for company, but figuratively as well. Whatever, she had believed to be true before, had been complete lies. She couldn't trust Amara, Tarla, Hans or anybody – she was alone. And it was a terrifying thought, but it was best not to dwell on it. She was a smart, intelligent, resourceful woman; she would get herself out of this somehow, she resolved. The question of how, she hadn't quite had the chance to answer just yet, but she'd figure it out.

The day had passed quietly without event. Days here seemed abnormally short; gut feeling and what little she could remember told her they were usually of a longer duration. It just went to confirm her long held suspicion that she was not from around here. It was only now with the current barrage of flashbacks that had assaulted her memory, she realised just how true that was. She was from another planet entirely. But the fact she was from Earth actually settled her rather than the expected opposite.

What she could gather from the flashbacks was that she had come to Frosya on a mission of some sort; to trade weaponry. The mission had somehow gone sideways; she had been left stranded on this foreign planet whilst the rest of her team had returned through the Stargate. It was nice to finally put a name to that huge puddle of blue shimmering light that had often invaded her dreamless sleep. Of what she could now be certain was that Amara and her family had played a part in her fate; everything from being stranded to the memory loss. She just couldn't tell what they wanted from her. Any possibility chilled her to her core.

Instinctively, Sam huddled her blanket more closely around her, sapping what warmth she could from her surroundings. It was a particularly cold night, and once again she found her mind wandering back to the three men that had plagued her visions.

Where were they now? The _who were they?_ She had partly answered herself. They had obviously all been part of a team. The big bald guy with the gold tattoo on his forehead was a Jaffa called Teal'c. Words such as noble, fearless and warrior sprung to mind when she thought of him. Daniel, like her, was something of a scientist, well more precisely an archaeologist, but he wasn't military. She shared that with one Colonel O'Neill.

The warmth that spiralled within her when she thought of any three of them had now become a conditioned response, but there was still something that confused her about one of them.

The mysterious and illustrious Colonel Jack O'Neill . . . Sam scoffed out loud into the soundless night. Surprised at her outburst in the midst of her silent pondering, Sam realised her subconscious knew more about the Colonel than she had initially thought. The Colonel was hardly that hard to work out, or was he? In every flashback where she encountered Jack O'Neill, she had felt an almost tangible bond between them. It was a bond unlike the one she felt with Daniel and Teal'c; it was stronger somehow. Oddly, however, there seemed to be an unrepentant barrier between them that neither one could break or dared to break, and with that conclusion, Sam felt a miserable pang of longing and loss.

Wriggling further down under the blanket, Sam finally laid her head on to the pillow. She didn't yet have a plan for tomorrow in how to deal with the Frosyans; for the moment she was too tired to think. Closing her heavy eyelids, Sam determined that tomorrow was going to require a lot of improvisation and a lot of bad acting on her part. "Great," Sam muttered, before rolling over on to her side and finally falling asleep within a matter of minutes.

* * *

Jack was wide awake. How could he not be? They were so close; he knew it, so how the hell could he be fast asleep dreaming of wonderful things? Teal'c and Daniel sure could; their loud snoring being testament to that, but then they weren't in love with a certain blonde haired Major, now were they? Well, at least he hoped not.

It took a lot for him to even admit that tiny fact to himself, although he had already somehow admitted it three years earlier in his own Jack O'Neill way. I mean, he honestly wasn't going to completely throw his heart on the line by screaming, 'I love you!' at his second-in-command when he wasn't entirely sure she held him in the same regard. It would have been a complete career ender if he'd used the L-word back then. But now? Everything had changed. Her being presumed dead had surfaced the feelings he had so long forced down to the recesses of his mind, and not to mention her letter. Her beautiful declaration of love. For him. 'Was she mad?' he thought sardonically. What could he possibly possess that would make a woman of that calibre love an older (significantly older, might he add) man, shielding his years of personal detachment and miserable existence with nothing but sarcasm and a ceremoniously paraded lack of IQ? He, like numerous times, was completely and utterly stumped.

It was hard enough being her commanding officer but now it was going to be a whole lot harder; if they found her that was. 'No,' Jack argued internally, 'Of course we're going to find her.' He turned on to his back staring up at the night sky through the few branches that had seeped into his vision. Frustrated, he let out a groan.

"What?" came a hoarse whisper somewhere from O'Neill's right. The unmistakeable half asleep voice belonged to Daniel.

"What?" Jack returned, having already heard the question, he was merely keeping up with the customary stalemate of what's?

"Did you say something?" Daniel whispered.

"No, Daniel. Go back to sleep."

"What are you doing awake?" Daniel tried again.

Jack debated answering truthfully, "Can't sleep, what d'you think?" he snapped.

"Thinking about Sam?"

'Oh he was good,' Jack mused but found himself stuck for an appropriate retort. His silence did the speaking for him.

"Jack . . ." Daniel started.

This wasn't good. Jack could feel it; Daniel was now wide awake and utterly serious,

"It's okay you know, we understand."

"Understand what exactly Daniel? Please get on with it and stop prolonging the torture," Jack replied impatiently.

"How difficult this is for you."

"Isn't it difficult for all of us?" Jack was still refusing to open up.

"Well we're all not in love with her."

Silence met Daniel's reply. Jack heard nothing but the night time chirping of the forest insects, the occasional rustle of leaves in the light breeze and his own mind screaming, 'crap.' How the hell was he supposed to respond to that?

Another minute of silence passed before Daniel opened his mouth again, "Like I said, we understand. Night Jack." He added before rolling back on to his side to get some much needed shut-eye.

Needless to say, Jack didn't get a wink of sleep that night.

* * *

The sun had risen a mere ten minutes ago and the sky was brightening fast. The air was dry yet biting cold but no one paid attention to it. They had a mission, a goal and today was the day that they would succeed. Jack would accept no excuses.

Whilst the other teams continued the search of the forest, SG-1 were headed for the farm owned by the natives they had met when they had first arrived. The only problem was that Daniel had been so sure of the direction they were going in, so sure he was right, that naturally they were now lost.

"Daniel," Jack's tone was deadly.

Daniel furrowed his brows, "I'm sure it was this way."

"I disagree Dr. Jackson," Teal'c interjected. "I believe we must return the way we have come and move in the direction of the river."

Jack looked from Daniel to Teal'c. "Oy," he muttered under his breath, "Fine," he snapped, "Daniel you've had your turn, Teal'c can be the tour guide now. Its only fair kids."

Teal'c inclined his head in acceptance. Satisfied, Jack turned to Daniel, except he wasn't paying attention.

"Daniel?"

"I thought I saw someone," Daniel spoke softly moving over to the dense undergrowth behind him.

Both Jack and Teal'c hands instinctively reached for their weapons as they crept up beside Daniel.

Reaching into the layer of shrubs and bushes, Jack gave them the all clear signal,

"Nothing there Daniel, just a figment of your imagination."

"Right," said Daniel not convinced. Looking back at the bush again, he shrugged his shoulders and followed after the Colonel.

* * *

Amara's eyes were diverted to the direction of the front room. The abrupt slam of the front door increased her heart rate a little above normal.

"Hans," she called turning off the stove and walking out of her little kitchen. "Hans, is that you?"

"Mother," came the out of breath response. It was Hans, albeit a slightly dishevelled and flushed Hans from apparent exertion,

"What is wrong?" Amara asked panic rising.

"They are here!"

"Who are here?"

"Her friends. They are here. In the forest. On their way here!"

All colour drained from Amara's face, "We cannot allow them to see her."

Hans nodded emphatically, "Where is she?"

"She is feeding the chickens."

"She cannot be here when they arrive."

"Yes but what can we do with her."

Hans had apparently already given this some thought,

"We should take her to our Lord."

Amara sat shocked into a dining table chair, "It is too soon. She has not remembered. She cannot be of use to our Lord until she has remembered."

"Taking her into the city will aid her memory, I am certain of it."

"Very well," she agreed after some time, "Go with her and I will stay here and deal with her friends."

* * *

A/N 2: Hey! Hope you enjoyed the long chapter! I have exams this month, so I won't be able to update again until those are over, but please leave me a review, your reviews mean that I feel obligated to keep going with my story, which means it's more likely I'll finish then! I know what it's like reading unfinished stories, so I will be back! Anyway, hope you all had good holidays, I'll try and update when I can,

Love SmilinStar xxx


	11. Closer

**Say Goodbye to Yesterday**

**Disclaimer: **Belongs to whoever owns it; definitely not me

**Rating:** PG-13

**Pairing:** Sam/Jack

**Summary: '**His eyes now red with strained unshed tears, Daniel softened his voice, "She's dead Jack. Sam's dead."' After a tragic accident; the entire SGC is left reeling . . . including Sam . . .

**Author's Note: **This is set somewhere in season 7, pre-Pete.

**Chapter Eleven**

Closer

Sam had reluctantly agreed to go into the city with Hans. He had said that it would help her memory return and he didn't know why he hadn't thought of it sooner. However, Sam begged to differ. He had thought of it sooner. His rush and anxiety told her that this was his last resort to get her to remember. Sam, far too curious than was good for her, decided to ignore the alarm bells going off in her head and play along. This may just be what she needed to find the missing pieces of her jigsaw, but that didn't mean she wasn't alert.

The city was just how she remembered it; barren. The area had been built purely for the council's purposes. There were no cosy little residential areas, shops or markets. Very few people walked the city's streets; most sentient beings being behind the closed doors.

Sam could make out the plain grey building a little further ahead, as she and Hans walked up the side of the dirt road. The building, Sam thought, was strangely out of place. Frosya seemed to be very traditional, rooted in the past, they seemed deeply proud of their heritage. Most of the older buildings were evidence of that, and so it seemed particularly strange that the very building from which they governed took no importance in historic design. It contrasted well with the rest of the city, starkly standing out.

"Where are we going?" Sam asked as Hans walked forward opening the door to the Council's headquarters.

"This is where Frosya's Council sits," Hans explained as Sam followed him into the entrance hall.

The hall was almost a perfect square; each of the corners of the room having been cut off to form four corridors. In the middle of the vast wasted space was what in all likelihood the reception desk. A woman, with long, curly auburn hair sat behind it. She was busy with what appeared to be some sort of computer, but that didn't mean that they hadn't been noticed.

"Hello," she said looking up and smiling kindly, "Is there something I can help you with?"

Hans smiled back, "Yes there is," he said walking up closer to the desk. Sam stood beside him still taking in her surroundings; everything becoming clearer now that she was here.

"I need to speak to a friend who works here," Hans explained, "He is a scientist."

This definitely sparked Sam's interest but having to keep up the pretence of amnesia, Sam kept her face stoic and disinterested.

"What is the name of the scientist you wish to see?"

"Toron."

The auburn haired receptionist clicked a few buttons. "He is currently working in the New Technology building."

"Will we be able to see him? It is of desperate importance," Hans explained, he glanced discreetly at Sam and back at the receptionist, hoping she caught his drift. The woman frowned in incomprehension. She looked more carefully at Sam, who _apparently_ still wasn't paying attention to the details of their conversation, and took in her short blonde hair. That, in itself, struck her as odd. Frosya deeply frowned upon women who endorsed what were seen to be men's work, styles and attire. In fact, they were usually shunned by Frosyan society altogether, and it was then that she realised just who this blonde woman was. Her mouth formed a quiet 'o' in final understanding. This was the woman the Council had been talking about for days.

Looking back at Hans, she smiled, "Yes of course. I'm sure I can arrange some sort of passage into the building for you. Please wait just a moment," sliding out of her chair, she walked across the hall and disappeared down the right corridor.

Hans turned back to Sam and smiled. Sam returned the smile, "It's a very nice building," she said, "but I'm intrigued as to why you thought bringing me here would help."

For a brief moment, Sam swore she saw something akin to suspicion glisten in his eyes, but it was soon replaced by his usual neutral expression. Sam silently breathed a sigh of relief; her own suspicions had very nearly seeped out along with her words. She needed to be more careful.

"Most visitors," Hans said, "first visit the Council's headquarters when they arrive here in Frosya. It is likely that you have been here before."

Sam nodded, "It does seem familiar," she said carefully, "but I don't remember being here."

"Familiarity is a start," Hans replied. The sound of shoes on the polished surface ended their conversation as they turned back around to see the receptionist approaching with a sheet of white paper flapping in her hands. Sitting back in her chair, she handed the paper over to Hans, "this should allow you entrance."

"Thank you."

"Have a nice day," she smiled at Hans; her beam was even wider for Sam. There seemed to be so much open regard and wonder in the woman's eyes, Sam felt slightly off kilter. She shrugged the feeling off and turned back to Hans.

"Where are we going now?" she asked.

"To see a friend," Hans said, "I am sure he will be able to help."

'I'm sure he will,' Sam mused silently, picturing Toron, the scientist who had had a lot to do with her current predicament. It was best just to go along with Hans for the moment though, and with that thought, she stepped out of the double front doors and into the fresh air again. This was going to be interesting.

* * *

"Well it seems to appear that on this occasion, Daniel, you were wrong," Jack smiled obviously revelling in the fact. It wasn't often Daniel was wrong. Teal'c being the gentleman that he was said nothing as they walked down the dirt track towards the familiar little farmhouse.

The farmyard was filled with the usual scents and noises associated with farmyard animals, and Jack had to do his best from wrinkling up his nose in disgust as they passed the pig pen.

The old wooden door to the farmhouse was open and as they drew closer, they were able to clearly make out the details of the blonde woman standing with a huge smile plastered on her face. It wasn't until they were face to face that Jack noticed her smile didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Colonel O'Neill, Daniel Jackson, Teal'c," she beamed, "This is a nice surprise! What brings you back to Frosya?"

Jack offered a tentative smile, "Uh, we're afraid something's happened and we were wondering if you could answer a few of our questions."

The smile dropped from Amara's face, her whole body becoming unwillingly frigid, "This does not sound like good news. You had better come in," she said standing aside and guiding the three men into her humble abode.

"Please sit down," Amara gestured to the four chairs surrounding the table as they walked into the front room. Each of the men took their seats as Amara sat down at the head of the table opposite the Colonel.

"What has happened and where is Major Carter?"

Jack frowned, "Well uh it's about Major Carter. She's missing."

"Missing?" repeated Amara, confusion written all over her face, "I am sorry but I do not understand. If she is missing, should you not be on Earth searching for her?"

Daniel stepped in, "She didn't return through the Stargate with us. There was an accident, and we thought she was dead, but we now have reason to believe that she's still alive somewhere here on Frosya."

"And you are wondering if we have seen her?" asked Amara.

"That is correct," Teal'c answered.

Amara shook her head, the planes of her face etched with shock and sadness, "I am so very sorry, but no, we have not." She looked up at the three men. Daniel was staring avidly at the table, his attempts to hide his disappointment failing. Teal'c's expression remained impassive but what nearly through her cover story off course was the Colonel's steely gaze focussed solely on her. She shifted under the intense scrutiny. There were no faults in her story and they could not truly suspect her without solid evidence but something about the Colonel's stare told her that she was still very much on his radar.

She smiled briefly at them, "Major Carter is an intelligent and resourceful woman, I am sure that if she were to be lost, it will not be long before she finds her way back to you. Now," she said standing up, "You look very hungry and tired from your searching. I shall bring you some food to eat."

"Thank you but that's not necessary," Jack said too getting up from his seat.

"Nonsense," Amara replied, "You cannot help Major Carter with empty stomachs. Please sit down."

Jack acquiesced reluctantly, but his gaze never wavered from the woman's back as she walked into her little kitchen. Once she had disappeared, he turned to his fellow team mates and whispered,

"She's hiding something."

"Jack?" Daniel whispered back, "Why would she do that?"

"Who knows? But I know she's lying."

"I concur," Teal'c added, "She does not appear to be trustworthy."

Jack got up again, his eyes still on the kitchen door.

"Where are you going?" Daniel whispered.

"To have a look around."

"You can't do that," Daniel sounded offended, "It's rude, she's just allowed you into her home, she's making you something to eat and you're going to go snooping around her home. Look, all I'm saying is maybe we should just keep asking questions."

"I do not believe she will tell us anything of value, Dr Jackson," Teal'c said.

Daniel looked at both men and sighed, "Fine, 'you went to the bathroom'."

Jack nodded before creeping out of the room into the small corridor leading to the bedrooms.

Daniel turned his head gravely back to the wooden dining table muttering incomprehensibly under his breath. Teal'c merely shot him a puzzled glance; both eyebrows raised and his head tilted slightly to the side. "Ignore me," Daniel said, and for a moment Teal'c did just that.

* * *

"Samantha, this is Toron. Chief scientist and also my good friend," Hans introduced the dark haired man standing in front of her with his hand outstretched. He was smiling in a friendly manner and Sam couldn't help but search for any signs of recognition behind his brown eyes. She found none. It was as if they really were meeting for the first time; and it only disturbed her further.

Reaching out, she gave his hand one short shake and returned the smile, "Nice to meet you."

Toron invited them both to sit down on the stools that lined his workbench, "I do apologise for the mess of my laboratory. We scientists have little time to ensure order in our surroundings when science is wreaking chaos in the depths of our minds."

Sam very nearly nodded her head in agreement but stopped herself just in time. "Now," Toron started, looking directly at Sam, "Hans has informed me about your accident and the memory loss that resulted from it. He believed I may be able to help you."

"And can you?" Sam asked.

"I'm afraid that it depends on the nature of your memory loss. I know of ways to trigger suppressed memories but you have to be willing to participate. And it is my duty to tell you that the side effects of such treatment often have serious consequences."

"What kind of consequences?"

"The drugs may interfere with your normal brain functioning, which in at least one trial led to irreparable neurological damage. The drugs will be administered by way of a specialised injecting machine."

Sam didn't even realise she was doing it, but her eyes instantly scanned the room for the oddly designed device. Her mistake wasn't realised until she heard Toron speak again. His voice was eerily calm, "However, I cannot help you remember that which you have already remembered."

Sam's eyes locked on to his; wide in shock, she realised he was smiling at her. But it lacked the warmth and brilliance of the scientist she had met all those weeks ago. The man in front of her had the face of a mad man, who too was embroiled in this conspiracy. A short silence expanded between the two scientists, as Sam urged her brain to think, to get herself out of this mess. But for all the times her usually overworked yet reliable brain decided not to do the one thing it was conditioned to do, had to be now.

"I'm sorry," Sam finally answered, "But I'm not quite sure what you mean by that?"

"Oh I think you do, Major Samantha Carter." Toron answered standing up.

"How-"

"How do I know your full name?" Toron supplied, "I think you know."

"Do you mean she remembers everything?" Hans spoke up, excitement bursting from his words.

"Not everything, but enough."

"How do you know?" Hans asked.

Toron smiled, "Although your acting skills are commendable Major," he turned to Sam, "I am naturally gifted in spotting lies that are hidden in even the most tangled of webs. That is how I know."

"What do you want with me?" Sam asked through gritted teeth. Her game plan had been shredded to pieces. There was nothing left for her to do for the time being apart from letting events unravel and sitting back and reluctantly taking part. Until she came up with another plan of course.

"Nothing as sinister as you expect I assure you that Major," Toron said.

Sam let out a derogatory scoff, "Right, because drugging me can't possibly be construed as a sinister and hostile act?"

"Yes it is a shame we had had to resort to that but there was no other way."

"No other way for what?" Sam snapped, understandably she was now teetering the edge of sheer irritation and annoyance at the lack of answers to her fountain of questions. "What the hell do you want from me?"

It was Hans this time, who answered her, "Your help," was the simple answer.

"My help," Sam repeated disbelievingly, "With what?"

"The war."

"Against the Goa'uld?"

"We cannot answer any further questions. Only our Lord will answer them for you."

"Right," Sam muttered under her breath, "Well can you please take me to him?"

Hans nodded, "Follow me."

Sam followed silently, with Toron not too far behind.

* * *

"He's just gone to the bathroom," Daniel lied convincingly but Amara looked far from convinced.

"He has been in the bathroom for far longer than is normal. Are you sure he is alright?"

"Oh yeah," Daniel shrugged, "Don't worry about Jack. He always takes forever. You know, before we came through the Stargate, we had to wait nearly an hour for him to get ready . . . okay, maybe that's an exaggeration . . ." Daniel was well and truly babbling now and it wasn't helping to ease Amara's suspicions either.

"Maybe I should see if he is ok?" Amara said getting up.

"No!" Daniel almost yelled, "I mean no, that's probably not a good idea."

His words fell on deaf ears as Amara ignoring both Daniel and Teal'c moved away from the table towards the door. She was however beaten to it as the door suddenly flung open. Stood there, was a murderous looking Colonel Jack O'Neill. His face was contorted into the most controlled of rages Daniel had ever seen. Every line on his face emanated hatred and anger as his gaze latched on to Amara in a fierce death grip,

"Where is she?" It wasn't a yell, a shout or a bellow but deceptively calm. The message was clear, 'stop lying and start telling the truth, or else.'

Amara matched the Colonel's glare with as much venom, "I do not know what you are talking about, now if you do not mind, I do not appreciate being-"

She was cut short, "Now if _you_ don't mind," Jack repeated, "I don't appreciate being taken for a fool."

Reaching behind his back he brought out an item that was so utterly familiar to them all, Amara's eyes widened in fear.

"So I'll ask you again, where is she?"

Dangling from Jack's hand was a khaki green army jacket. It was torn beyond repair and barely recognisable except for a circular emblem stitched on the sleeve that proudly represented the planet that was Earth. It was Sam's, which only meant one thing: she had been here.

A/N 2: Please review, even if it's to say good, bad, like it, hate it. Also massive thank you to those who've reviewed and are reviewing, I really really appreciate it, so thanks!

SmilinStar xxx


	12. Sacred

**Say Goodbye to Yesterday**

**Disclaimer: **Belongs to whoever owns it; definitely not me

**Rating:** PG-13

**Pairing:** Sam/Jack

**Summary: '**His eyes now red with strained unshed tears, Daniel softened his voice, "She's dead Jack. Sam's dead."' After a tragic accident; the entire SGC is left reeling . . . including Sam . . .

**Author's Note: **This is set somewhere in season 7, pre-Pete.

**Chapter Twelve**

Sacred

"Where is she?" Jack ground out each word again, making damn sure that the only thing Amara could see was his seething face.

"Not here," Amara finally answered.

Jack took a step back and let out a grim chuckle, "I can see that, but you still haven't answered my question."

The set determination in the Frosyan woman's eyes wavered as she caught sight of the gun held firmly between the Colonel's fingers.

"Jack-" Daniel started, ever the peacekeeper, "Maybe we should-"

"My way Daniel," Jack snapped, "We do this my way. She's been lying to our faces and I don't take so kindly to liars." He fixed Amara with another glare and her eyes once again flickered down to the cold barrel of the gun.

"Fine," she finally relented, "but please put your weapon down."

Jack slowly did so, but his hand was never too far from the gun. He motioned to the chair, "Sit."

Amara complied and sat staring up at the three men that towered above her, "Start talking," Jack ordered.

"The day after you left through the Stargate," she began, "Hans was making his way through the forest for daily trade when he found Major Carter. She was unconscious and injured. He brought her here, hoping I would be able to nurse her back to health. That I did, but she had suffered severe head trauma and as a result had lost a significant proportion of her memory. She did not even know her own name. I have only treated her with utmost kindness and hospitality, allowing her to reside here with us until her memory returns."

"That doesn't explain why you lied to us or, for that matter, neglected to tell her the truth about who she is."

Amara blushed, "That is purely down to selfish reasons I'm afraid. I've grown rather accustomed to another woman's presence in my home. Tarla is much too young and Samantha is easy to confide in and a very good and worthy friend. I was afraid I would be losing that."

Jack pursed his lips together, frowning slightly. He wasn't in the least convinced, but let Daniel continue the questioning nevertheless,

"So where is she now?"

Amara sighed, "Believe me, I truly do not know. She is rather fond of taking strolls in the forest alone. She did not leave so very long ago. If you go now you may be able to catch up with her."

Moving around the table, Jack pulled out a chair and deliberately sat down very slowly, stretched his arms out languidly in front of him and said, "Oh she'll be back soon enough. We'll just wait here. That is of course if you don't mind?"

Calmly, Amara matched the glare across the table, "Of course not."

Jack smiled. It was nice to have the upper hand.

* * *

She had been led straight back to the Council's headquarters. The auburn haired receptionist was still sat at her desk, but this time, she didn't bother with the formalities. "He is awaiting you," was all she said to Hans. Hans nodded his thanks and maintained his course for the fourth corridor on the right of the square hall.

The corridor was wide enough to not induce claustrophobia but its sheer length was daunting. It seemed to go on forever. It strangely reminded her of the 'Wizard of Oz', except for the fact that she wasn't the blue and white check dress wearing Dorothy and she wasn't off to see a wizard. A lord maybe, but not a wizard. And this definitely wasn't Emerald City.

On reaching the end of the corridors, Hans came to a halt. Sam stopped walking behind him as did Toron. He then reached up to knock on the huge double doors. His fist never connected as the doors gave berth of their own accord almost sensing their presence and intent. The room into which they had now walked was empty; completely devoid of anything and everything. It was so anticlimactic after the dramatically long corridor that Sam almost felt the need to laugh out in wry humour. Though there was no throne and pure gold furnishings and décor, one cliché stuck out like a sore thumb.

All of a sudden, Hans and Toron, who had previously been standing beside her, were on hands and knees, foreheads touching the ground in prostration. Sam looked up to see the reason; a tall dark robed figure emerged slowly out of the shadows. She remained motionless, meeting the man's gaze head on as he came to stand before them. There was nothing majestic about him. He had unremarkable brown eyes, dark brown hair and apart from his voluminous black cloak, there was nothing extraordinary about his attire. This, apparently, was Lord Frosya.

Sam hadn't the faintest idea as to how to address him and simply opted for a curt bow, unwillingly to lie at another's feet. She hadn't had any idea what to expect. Okay, well maybe that was a lie. She _had_ expected to come face to face with a grand, powerful, and menacing Lord pinched straight off the theatre's stage; not an ordinary man. And so she was even more surprised when he let out a foreign chuckle. Sam jerked her head back upright, staring wide eyed back into two brown eyes that were now sparkling with mirth.

"Am I to assume you are Major Samantha Carter?"

"Uh yes," she stammered.

"You need not look so afraid. I mean you no harm."

Her normally cool demeanour returned to her at once with those words, "Then please do explain what I'm doing here?"

"All in due time," he smiled, "First we shall eat." He clicked his fingers, and the doors once again opened. This time to allow in two formally dressed men carrying in a fully set dining table. The food was already sitting there steaming, the cutlery was laid out and Sam was in awe of the simple fact that nothing had fallen off as the table came to rest at the centre of the room. Two chairs were brought in next. Frosya sat down as the men left and stared up expectantly at Sam and the two other men in the room.

"You may leave now," the lord said staring up at Hans and Toron, "I will call you if I need your assistance."

"Yes my lord," they said in unison before leaving Sam alone with Frosya.

"Sit," he ordered.

Sam obeyed. Not particularly hungry, she sat with her hands folded anxiously in her lap awaiting Frosya.

Having placed numerous helpings of the dishes in front of him on to his plate, he looked across the table to Sam's crystal clean, sparkly white china plate, "Are you not hungry?"

"No," Sam answered brusquely.

"I see," Frosya sighed, "You will not be swayed from the matter at hand."

"No," Sam answered again.

"Very well. The reason you are here is quite simple. We need your expertise to win the upcoming and sadly inevitable war that is looming."

"With the Goa'uld?"

"No."

"No?" Sam asked, her blue eyes wide in confusion, "then who?"

"The Eyeshans."

And somehow that didn't surprise Sam in the least; she was actually rather annoyed she hadn't figured it our earlier. All the signs had been there; the missing Eyeshan delegates at the negotiations, her conversation with Tarla; it all made sense now. What she couldn't quite figure out though, was what had caused the hatred and distrust in the first place.

"You do not seem surprised," the thinly veiled question refocused Sam's mind to her surroundings.

"No," Sam answered truthfully, "I'm not, although I don't quite understand the rivalry. From what little I know, Eyesha and Frosya are very different nations but equally as great. Why the desire to annihilate each other's treasures?"

"Eyesha's greatness has been built on stolen soil; it is only fair we reclaim what is rightfully ours."

"Land? This is about land?"

"Sacred land. The land of my ancestors, which is now being ruled by an impostor of not a single drop of noble blood."

"Okay look," Sam said sitting up straighter, "This is your crusade, not mine. I'm not from here, so it doesn't concern me as to who rules what plot of land. I'm not going to fight for something I don't believe in."

"Major Carter," Frosya's tone hardened, "It appears you have no choice. The Stargate is under my guard and you will not get within even thirty feet of it before my men open fire."

Sam laughed, "Even without your men guarding it, the Stargate's useless to me without my GDO. Using your hold of the gate is not going to scare me into submission, your lordship."

Frosya's face turned a shade darker, "We shall see."

* * *

"Well, well, well," Jack said rubbing his hands together, "It appears that you've lied to us once again." He had to hand it to her though. They'd been sat here for four hours now, and Amara hadn't cracked once.

"Either you start talking or I start shooting."

Amara remained stoically silent.

"Fine."

Jack aimed over Amara's shoulder and shot at the glass bowl that was on the wooden shelf behind. Amara flinched as the shot rang out and the glass shattered on the floor.

"Where is she?" Jack asked again, "This time I won't be missing your shoulder."

Amara's face darkened considerably and still weary of the Colonel's finger on the trigger, she answered him,

"The city."

"And what is she doing there?"

"My son has taken her there in an effort to help her regain what memories she has lost."

"If that were true, why didn't you save yourself and indeed you beautiful, now broken, glass bowl over there, the trouble, and just say that in the first place."

"I was afraid you would not have believed me."

"Quite the compulsive liar aren't you?" Jack remarked.

"I am telling the truth," Amara replied defiantly.

"Fine, you can lead us there then."

Amara, realising she had no choice in the matter, reluctantly agreed.

* * *

A/N 2: I know this update has been a long time coming and I'm very sorry. Busy doesn't even begin to describe my life, anyway, I'm sorry but I hope you're still reading and feedback and reviews are always appreciated. I'll try to get the next chapter up sooner,

SmilinStar xxx


	13. Distractions

**Say Goodbye to Yesterday**

**Disclaimer: **Belongs to whoever owns it; definitely not me

**Rating:** PG-13

**Pairing:** Sam/Jack

**Summary: '**His eyes now red with strained unshed tears, Daniel softened his voice, "She's dead Jack. Sam's dead."' After a tragic accident; the entire SGC is left reeling . . . including Sam . . .

**Author's Note: **This is set somewhere in season 7, pre-Pete.

**Chapter Thirteen**

Distractions

"We need you to design a weapon that will wipe out all Eyeshans but leave the land unmarred. Obviously we realise bombs, missiles and such will succeed in destroying the Eyeshan population but it will leave a devastating mark on land we wish to reclaim for all its natural resources-"

"Wait a minute," Sam interrupted, "Natural resources?"

Toron's expression tightened as he realised his mistake.

"Lord Frosya told me that this was a holy crusade of some sort, what do you mean natural resources?"

"The primary aim is to reclaim holy land, but what use is land if we cannot exploit its riches?"

"What kind of 'riches'?" asked Sam, already having a fair idea of what it may be.

"That is not your concern. Our Lord has given me vast control over your wellbeing, and I suggest you stay focussed on your task."

Feeling rather reckless, Sam brazenly asked, "or what?"

"Our biochemical understanding and ability far exceeds what credit is often given to us. In short, the drug we used to erase your memory barely skims the surface of the type of chemical mind control we can induce. If you cross us, you will become our most willing test subject yet."

'Needles,' Sam thought silently, 'could be worse.'

* * *

Amara, predictably, lead them straight to the council's headquarters. Teal'c remained the ever vigilant warrior whilst Daniel silently followed. Jack, on the other hand, having never quite grasped the concept of patience being a virtue, grew more impatient, irritable and tireless by the second. The auburn haired, overly chirpy receptionist was not helping either.

"Look," Jack tried again with a dramatic sigh, "We know she was here today, in this building, and we just want to know where she is now?"

"I'm sorry sir," the receptionist said, her fake smile dimming somewhat, "but no one of that description has passed through the headquarters today. Maybe I can pass your enquiry on to one of my superiors?"

Jack really was reaching the end of his tether. Knowing she was so close was killing him, as was the uncertainty over her state of mind and health. Looking away from the receptionist, his eyes collided with the blue of Amara's. The native woman's eyes instantly shifted to the floor, almost reflexively, as if they had been scalded. She knew more than she was letting on and the receptionist was in on it too. There was a reason Jack hated damned conspiracies. With the beginnings of a new plan forming in his head, the Colonel turned back towards the receptionist and threw her a mockingly saccharine smile, "No that's fine, wouldn't want to put your superior asses out of your way. I'm sure she'll just turn up out of thin air, like you said. Come on Daniel, Teal'c, let's go."

Daniel raised his eyebrows, Teal'c just the one. Jack gave them both a conspiratorial glare as if to replace the words, 'I'll explain later.'

Mutely, both followed as Jack grabbed hold of Amara's arm and steered her out of the building.

Once they were all a safe distance away from the council's headquarters, Daniel turned on Jack,

"What the hell was all that about? We need to go back in there; they know more than they're telling us."

Jack threw Daniel an exasperated glare, "Gee Daniel, thank you for that wonderful insight. Look, we're beating our heads against a brick wall in there. They may know what's going on, but they sure as hell won't let us in on it."

"So what do we do now?" Daniel asked.

"We go to plan B."

"Plan B?" Daniel asked; his scepticism clearly evident. Teal'c's inquisitive stare prompted Jack to continue.

"I haven't quite figured out what Plan B is yet but I have a few ideas."

Daniel and Teal'c looked as if they were now inspired with confidence, a very minuscule grain of confidence – but it was something.

* * *

Sam could feel their eyes piercing holes into her back. Toron was watching her like a hawk as she worked at the laboratory bench, and the two guards standing attentive either side of the door, prevented her from formulating any ideas of escape.

She hated this.

She'd nearly drowned, been injured, lost her memory and to add to her confused state, she'd been lied to. Now she was being held prisoner and being forced to be a pivotal part in the murder of a whole country of people; it was a miracle she hadn't broken down yet.

She didn't know if they could tell, but truth be told, she was stalling. She had no idea how to build the weapon they had described. From their specification, she'd made the deduction that the only weapon possible to target only the Eyeshans and not the surrounding ecosystem was a biological weapon of some sort; something targeted only at Eyeshan DNA. And therein was her problem. Aside from her moral conscience screaming at her that this was wrong; Sam was primarily an astrophysicist, not a biologist or chemist. Of course she had an understanding of both subjects to a degree that was beyond the basics, but it was still not enough to create the weapon they wanted. And of course it begged the question why the Frosyans themselves hadn't built the weapon themselves. If their biochemical understanding was beyond 'what credit was often given to them,' why on Earth did they need her help?

She chanced a sideways glance behind her and soon wished she hadn't.

Toron was staring right at her. Sam instantly recoiled under the gaze and turned back to the microscope under which she had just placed a slide containing nothing but a harmless liquid. She knew looking down the lens, she'd see nothing, but so long as it appeared she was doing something, she figured it would give her enough time to figure out how to escape.

* * *

The three men and Amara snuck into a small alleyway between two unused and old warehouses where they were well hidden from prying eyes. Amara was sat slumped against a concrete wall with Teal'c towering above and keeping both watchful eyes on her. Daniel stood watching an agitated Colonel O'Neill pacing the small space into which they had all crowded.

"Jack," Daniel started.

"Daniel," Jack countered not looking up.

"Maybe we should go back to the council's headquarters."

"And do what?" Jack snapped, "Negotiate?"

Daniel's silence did the talking for him.

Jack shook his head, "No what we need to do is to get in there."

"The doors are heavily guarded and we don't know where she is. She could be anywhere."

"Oh yes we do," Jack smiled suddenly.

"What?" Daniel asked frowning.

"We do know where she is."

"We do?"

Jack nodded, relief flooding his veins with his sudden epiphany, "the labs." As Jack said this he watched carefully for any response in Amara. The ever so slight shift in her position and the extra flutter of her eyelashes told him he'd hit the nail on the head.

"How can you be so sure?"

"This is Carter we're talking about," Jack answered, "Where would she be if not amongst her favourite gadgets and gizmos?" Jack's expression turned more serious, "She flipped on us only after she'd gone off with that guy, what's his name, Tony, Torn -"

"Toron."

"That's the one. I bet you anything they did something to her then."

"What do they want from her?"

"No idea, but whatever it is, they're not going to get it. Come on."

Daniel hurriedly followed after the Colonel, whilst Teal'c bent down to help Amara up.

"Jack," Daniel called after him, "We can't go barging in. They know we're here, they've probably got defences lined up and ready for us."

"Dr. Jackson is correct," Teal'c having caught up, with Amara dragging behind him, lent support to Daniel's assertion. "We must proceed with caution."

Jack stopped and turned around and gave both Daniel and Teal'c a furious glare, "I may look it and most of the time sound like it, but I sure as hell am not stupid. So please stop questioning and start following."

Neither Daniel nor Teal'c said anything more on the matter, and followed silently. It wasn't that they didn't trust the Colonel's judgement because both men trusted Jack with their lives. Despite his quips and appearances of a simple man, Jack was a brilliant strategist and the best commanding officer there was. It was just that when it came to Sam, it was anyone's guess what was going through that great mind of his.

Jack turned back to pierce Amara with a determined expression, "Where do your government carry out all their scientific research?"

"Most likely the New Technology building – on the street to the right of the council's headquarters."

Jack continued to stare at her assessing whether she was telling the truth; satisfied, he turned to Teal'c.

"T, you're coming in with me. Daniel, you and Amara distract the guards."

No one seemed to object, and so Jack continued on his path back the way they had come, each step hopefully bringing them closer to Sam.

If the roads had been empty before, they were now positively barren. The Frosyan city was unlike every city of any civilisation they had ever witnessed. The silence along the dirt roads and the stillness of the surrounding forest was unnerving. Jack did his best to ignore the spine chilling sense of foreboding at his heels and continued to walk faster and discretely along the slight pavements.

Once the distinct grey building of the council's headquarters came into view, Jack turned into a side road with Daniel, Teal'c and Amara not far behind him.

"Is that it?" Jack asked Amara pointing in the direction of the brown stoned building to the right of the headquarters. The intricate carvings on the stone walls and the four thick columns at the entrance were quite typical of the historical details of all the other buildings in the city. Jack thought it strange how the new technology building, which supposedly encompassed all things new and modern, was locked up in an architectural and historical gem. Once again, the Frosyan logic was lost on him.

Amara nodded to confirm what Jack already knew, "How many guards do you see?"

"Four," Daniel answered, "Two at the doors of the council and two in front of the labs."

"Right," Jack nodded, "Any ideas how you're going to distract them?"

"I'm working on it."

"Well work faster," Jack muttered impatiently.

Daniel turned to Amara, "Can you feign an injury?"

Jack mouthed 'injury' in disbelief, "That's your brilliant distraction?"

Daniel, pushing his glasses back up his nose, elaborated on his plan, "Both of us can't go out together at the same time. Chances are both sets of guards won't leave their posts at the same time. If I go out first, and approach the guards at the council doors, Amara can appear about ten minutes later feigning an injury, and only the guards in front of the tech building would be available to help. And there is your chance to get it."

"Will the guards not recognise who you are?" Teal'c pointed out the obvious flaw in Daniel's plan.

"Right," Daniel sighed, "forgot about that."

Jack rubbed a tired hand over his face, "What about gunfire?"

"We'd still be left with a guard at each door."

"So we shoot them!" Jack snapped.

"Discretion Jack, remember?"

Jack kicked his foot hard against the nearest wall with frustration, "Fine, we go back to Daniel's original plan. If it works, then great, if it doesn't . . . Plan C."

"Plan C?" Teal'c asked.

"To hell with discretion," Jack answered.

"Right," Daniel answered, "This was going to be fun."

* * *

"Lord Frosya would like a briefing in half an hour."

Sam was so startled by Toron's voice that she nearly banged her eyeball against the eyepiece of the microscope. What had her even more rattled was the fact that she had been tinkering away with absolutely nothing for the past hour, and so quite naturally had nothing to show Lord Frosya.

"Will that be a problem?" Toron asked standing next to her.

"No," Sam lied convincingly.

"Good."

'Damn it,' Sam muttered inside her head, 'think, think, think, how the hell do I get out of here?'

* * *

The two Frosyan guards were now looking at Daniel as if he were mad.

"I'm sorry; you would like to use the council's toilets?" One of them repeated the question as if he hadn't quite heard right the first time.

"Please," Daniel begged, jumping up and down for good measure, "I really need to go!"

The other guard raised his eyebrows at the grown man's antics. "I'm sorry but they are not for public use."

"Oh come on," Daniel whined.

"I am sorry," he said with a tone of finality, but Daniel wasn't giving up without a fight.

"So where am I supposed to go?"

The guard was prevented from retorting by a shrill scream. 'Finally,' Daniel muttered low under his breath as he saw Amara collapsed in the middle of the road, cradling her ankle and shrieking in agony. The two guards at the doors of the New Technology building shared an uncomfortable glance. All the while Daniel silently begged for them to take the bait. And after much deliberation and the crescendo of Amara's screams, both guards moved over to assist her.

From the corner of his eyes, Daniel watched as both Jack and Teal'c sneaked effortlessly into the building. Daniel very nearly sighed in relief, but having to keep up the charade, made a beeline for the front doors.

"Hey!" The taller guard yelled pulling Daniel back; "We said you cannot go in there to use the facilities."

"Fine," Daniel relented before walking away, but not before shooting the two guards looks of loathing.

Returning to the alleyway between the two old warehouses, which had been agreed as Daniel and Amara's rendezvous point, after acting as a distraction for Jack and Teal'c, Daniel wasn't surprised to see that he had made it back first. But after an hour of waiting, and no sign of Amara, Daniel realised the awful truth.

Amara had played them all.

* * *

A/N 2: I'm very sorry for the long wait. I would love to list my long list of excuses but I'm sure you probably don't want to know, but in my defence, revision and exams do seem to dampen the muse somewhat! The rather long winded chapter, although lacking in action, was very much necessary, so sorry if it bored you to tears! The next chapter should be a little better. To be honest, cos I haven't written in so long (the only writing that I've done for the past three months was on the crazy enigma that is Stalin) I feel a little rusty, but I'm sure my writing will pick up, so bear with me! Please review, feedback is always appreciated.

SmilinStar xxx


	14. The Cavalry

**Say Goodbye to Yesterday**

**Disclaimer: **Belongs to whoever owns it; definitely not me

**Rating:** PG-13

**Pairing:** Sam/Jack

**Summary: '**His eyes now red with strained unshed tears, Daniel softened his voice, "She's dead Jack. Sam's dead."' After a tragic accident; the entire SGC is left reeling . . . including Sam . . .

**Author's Note: **This is set somewhere in season 7, pre-Pete.

**Chapter Fourteen**

The Cavalry

Security inside the building was surprisingly lax, which was a welcome relief, but of course nothing was ever quite that simple. The building was a labyrinth of corridors and laboratory after laboratory. Finding their way around and staying out of sight was going to be no easy feat.

"We don't really look the part do we?" Jack whispered to Teal'c, no trace of humour in his voice.

"Indeed," Teal'c returned as they both hid behind a corner as another white lab coat clad technician disappeared down the corridor.

Grim determination was etched into every plane of Jack's face as he planned the best course of action, his eyes zoning in on the two very geeky looking scientists approaching them. Having not been noticed yet, Jack hand signalled to Teal'c, whose thoughts on how they should proceed were unsurprisingly identical.

A few well placed punches later, both scientists were out cold lying sprawled on the hard floor in front of them. Dragging their unconscious bodies discreetly, Jack and Teal'c tied their hands and feet together and placed them out of view. Shrugging on the white coats, Jack looked down at his feet. The green of his trousers and his mud covered boots glared back at him. He raised his head back to Teal'c who had raised one inquisitive brow at him in return. "Oh well," was all Jack could say with a shrug before walking out coolly in front of the Jaffa and turning right into the main corridor. Teal'c followed vigilantly behind.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Pacing the small space of the alleyway in which Daniel was now stuck, the young archaeologist was struck with the sickening realisation that Amara had wittingly forced them into a trap. How the Frosyans had managed to construct such a web of deceit and hostile subterfuge wasn't something Daniel wanted to dwell on. The only logical conclusion of that train of thought was that something far more sinister than they had initially thought was at large here. The more pressing issue for Daniel, however, was how he would warn Jack and Teal'c. Whatever he decided, the fact of the matter was that Daniel was now horribly exposed. Amara had probably already sent out Frosyan guards to look for him and would be turning up any minute now.

He needed to get out of here, and so with all the stealth he could muster he walked out from his hiding place and made a beeline for the thick bushy growth that laced the outskirts of the relatively small city. One thing Daniel still couldn't figure out (amongst a growing list of many) was why they had kept Sam alive for so long. If there was one thing he was sure of was that Sam was indeed alive, in what state of mind was an altogether different matter, but she was alive nevertheless. Why did they need her? The question resounded in his brain mercilessly and still he found no answer.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Jack was getting frustrated. They were so close yet so damn lost and it was annoying the hell out of him. They'd had a few close calls as they'd been wandering the corridors of the building with what was quickly becoming a futile ambition. They'd manage to smile and nod at passing Frosyan scientists. Most of them being far too busy to notice them but some had sent them obviously suspicious glances as they'd conspicuously entered and left several labs. This was taking too long and Jack's patience was wearing thin. For all he knew, Sam may not have the luxury of time thanks to whatever dastardly plan the Frosyans had concocted for her. He was still none the wiser as to why they were in this current mess. The Frosyans had first seemed like reasonably trustworthy and honourable people, but now with the benefit of hindsight he could now see just how little they had ever really known about these people. If he had time to play the blame game, he'd have to acknowledge the fact that Sam had warned him about the Frosyans on their first visit to this world and he'd flat out refused to believe her. But as it was, he really didn't have the time to berate himself.

"Major Carter does not appear to be here," Teal'c spoke into the silence.

Jack was well aware what Teal'c was trying to tell him but he was not willing to give up on her again.

"She has to be," he whispered determinedly.

Teal'c said nothing more as they continued walking down the last stretch of this particular passage before Jack stopped, suddenly deathly still. He quickly hand signalled for them to hide behind a corner.

A familiar voice had wafted passed Jack's eardrums, and it made his blood boil.

"I shall return in a few moments with Lord Frosya. Please have all that you have completed ready for his viewing."

There was a short silence and the sound of footsteps before he spoke again, "Oh and do not attempt to escape, the guards will not take kindly to such an offensive action." Finishing his warning, Toron emerged from the room and firmly shut the door behind him.

Jack and Teal'c consciously faded back into the shadows, their backs pressed against the walls as they watched the hated man disappear.

The Colonel didn't know what to feel. A mixture of hatred for the Frosyans and sweet relief clouded his senses. She was here. In that room, right there, was the woman he had thought he had lost forever. She meant more to him than anything before and it scared him witless. He didn't know how to feel and found himself relying on Teal'c to shake him out of his stupor.

All he needed was for Teal'c to say, "There will be guards at the entrance," and he was again entirely focussed. He had to be; there was no margin for error.

Jack nodded, "We knock 'em out with the zat guns, grab Sam and then get the hell out."

Teal'c nodded his consent; there really wasn't any other way to proceed. Zat guns armed, both men stood either side of the door of the laboratory that held Sam captive. Holding out his hand, Jack counted down with his fingers whilst at the same time mouthing, "Three, two, one . . ."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

Sam's heart was thudding painfully in her chest. She willed herself to calm down but the panic clawing at her stomach threatened to throttle her too. The uncertainty of what was going to happen when they figured out she'd done nothing and had been trying to fool them all this time was making her feel sick.

She watched as Toron closed the door behind him and the two Frosyan guards once again took up their position either side of the door. Turning back to the bench in front of her, she took in a deep breath . . .

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

. . . With a loud bang, Teal'c broke the door open. The guard on his near side turned with alarm behind him but Jack was ready for him and with one shot of the zat, the guard was writhing on the floor. Teal'c barrelled through and quite easily took out the remaining startled guard. As Jack stumbled his way into the room after Teal'c, one thought consumed him, 'That was too easy;' but that thought vanished from his mind as quickly as it had entered when he finally looked up . . .

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

. . . Sam wasn't exactly sure what was happening. One minute the door was closed and both guards were upright, next minute, the door was wide open and both guards were lying unconscious on the floor and _they're _standing there.

Her eyes widened, her heart thudding a different rhythm altogether as she drank them in. She was hallucinating, this couldn't be real. Her mind was playing tricks on her . . . 'why not?' she thought, she'd already lost her memory before, why couldn't this be a hallucination? But then he spoke . . .

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

She stood staring at them. Her blue eyes wide in shock and disbelief, her lower lip trembling almost imperceptibly; and Jack just stood there. Utter euphoric relief swam through his veins as he looked at her. She was alive. _She was alive. _She was right here in front of him and the only word he could find on his tongues was "Sam." And before he had even known what he was doing, he had marched forward and enveloped her in a crushing hug as if to ascertain that she was indeed alive and not a figment of his imagination that had been conjured up with the aid of his exhausted and battered heart.

Sam clutched him with equal fervour, her body almost disappearing against him as he held her impossibly tight, almost afraid to ever let go again. "Jack," she half laughed into his chest. She pulled away slightly but Jack's hands had found their way up to her hair and his hands were now cradling her face. He stared at her intently, his forehead resting against her own, "You're alive," he muttered redundantly, before laughing so heartily that undisguised tears, that would never be allowed to fall, glistened in his eyes. He shook his head in disbelief.

Sam smiled up at him, "You came back."

"Sorry we took so long."

Sam shook her head, "It doesn't matter, you came back."

"You should not have."

Teal'c armed his zat gun a little too late as both Jack and Sam turned around to find themselves surrounded by far too many Frosyan guards to take on. Toron stood in the centre behind a man neither Jack nor Teal'c recognised, but with whom Sam was unfortunately acquainted.

"You should not have come back," Lord Frosya repeated with a cold fury that chilled even Jack. The Colonel was reminded of the words that had momentarily fleeted in and out of his head just moments before – the rescue mission really had been far too easy to be true.

A/N 2: Sorry for the long wait, it's sod's law that I've got back into the flow of writing this fic when there's only two weeks left before I start uni! Anyway, I have started work on the next chapter and it should be up soon and as always I would love to know what you thought, so please review!

SmilinStar xxx


	15. Help and Hugs

**Say Goodbye to Yesterday**

**Disclaimer: **Belongs to whoever owns it; definitely not me

**Rating:** PG-13

**Pairing:** Sam/Jack

**Summary: '**His eyes now red with strained unshed tears, Daniel softened his voice, "She's dead Jack. Sam's dead."' After a tragic accident; the entire SGC is left reeling . . . including Sam . . .

**Author's Note: **This is set somewhere in season 7, pre-Pete.

**Chapter Fifteen**

Help and Hugs

He was still in the city, his mind drawing blanks as to what to do: he had to warn Jack and Teal'c but the question of how still remained unanswered. However, the commotion that soon followed forced Daniel to scrap that line of thought. He watched from afar as an entire troop of Frosyan guards filed into the New Technology building, and with it came the sinking feeling that they'd been made, and there was nothing Daniel could do alone – he needed help.

Turning around he looked at the wilderness of the thick forest imagining the Stargate, radioing Hammond . . . and then he realised he already had the back up he needed. Grabbing his radio, he marched, praying to someone that he'd find what he was looking for on the other end of the receiver.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOX

Pressing his face in between the iron bars of the jail, Jack muttered to himself, "Well this is something new."

"We have in fact been imprisoned several times O'Neill," Teal'c returned helpfully.

Jack simply sighed, well aware Teal'c was yet to fully master the art of sarcasm of which he himself was perfectly adept. Although Jack was obliged to admit that the Jaffa had managed to get used to him and his verbal ways quicker than he ever would have imagined.

Whilst the situation wasn't ideal, the Frosyans were going to have to throw a lot more in his direction to quell the happiness bubbling under his masked expression. Yes, even behind bars, Jack was over the moon and that was down to the simple fact that Sam was alive and well, memory in tact and looking as beautiful as she ever had done. He figured he was allowed to feel like this; after the hell of thinking he'd lost her and the unbelievable grief he'd been put through; Jack thought he deserved to be able to bask in his relief before finally relenting and acknowledging that they were in a rather sucky situation.

Turning his head, he found Teal'c pacing the length of the cell but his eyes were more eager to seek out the Major. She was sat on the floor, knees drawn to her chest and face hidden in her arms; the alarm that overcame him on seeing her in such a defensive position was instinctive. He walked over to her and sat beside her, "Sam," he said softly, "What's wrong? What did they do to you?"

Teal'c stopped pacing and moved closer to the pair.

Sam lifted her head and felt an odd flutter in her stomach as she caught the Colonel's intent but worried gaze. She shook her head, "They didn't hurt me . . . well not physically anyway."

Jack tensed, "What did they do?"

"They drugged me that day Toron showed me their weapons and labs. The drugs caused some sort of a chemical imbalance that affected my behaviour, made me more reckless and ultimately caused the accident."

"What of the memory loss Amara spoke of?" Teal'c asked.

"That was a side effect of the same drug."

"But other than that, you're fine?" Jack pressed.

Sam smiled, "I'm fine sir."

Jack briefly returned the smile but that quickly morphed into a look of steely determination, "Wait till I get my hands on those sons of bitches."

Sam placed her hand on his hand; the skin on skin contact slightly startling the older man as he looked back down at her, "I'm ok," she said again trying to reassure him.

Jack blew out an unsteady breath, "I know."

"Did they explain the purpose of their actions Major Carter?" Teal'c asked.

"They're at war with the Eyeshans."

"So you were right," Jack said, "They did have an ulterior motive in trading for more weapons, but what's that got to do with you?"

"They needed to ensure I'd get left behind and they did that by impairing my judgement and increasing the chances of my accident. They were playing a risky game though sir."

Jack raised both eyebrows prompting Sam to continue.

"They couldn't be hundred percent sure that I would fall down that cliff."

"Though they did the best they could to ensure you would by sending us in that direction in the middle of a storm – the sneaky bastards."

Sam nodded, "The memory loss, like I said was a side effect. I think they thought they could use it to try and make me trust them more. Guess they didn't think what would happen when I did get my memory back."

"Not a bright lot are they?"

"Well sir, actually, they are quite bright. I mean the level of technology-"

"Carter," Jack interrupted.

"Sorry sir," Sam blushed slightly, "Anyway, they wanted to employ my knowledge of weapons to build a biological weapon of some sort to wipe out the entire Eyeshan population."

"Guess we misjudged the depth of the rivalry."

"Yes sir, the Frosyans believe the Eyeshans stole their Holy land and want to reclaim it."

"Jeez, what is wrong with sharing," Jack muttered.

"Well to the Frosyans, sir, I'd say a lot."

"Yeah," Jack said reluctantly standing up and moving back to the bars of the cell, "Well I don't feel like sharing anymore of my time with these greedy folk, so how we gonna get out of here people?"

"Where's Daniel?" Sam asked suddenly realising he was missing. She was slightly ashamed it had taken her this long but given the ordeal she'd been through, she wasn't surprised she was acting a little scatty.

"Outside, keeping an eye on Amara . . . oh crap," Jack shook his, an alarming realisation hitting him full force.

"Colonel O'Neill?" Teal'c asked his face ever impassive.

"Amara walked us straight into this bloody trap, and Daniel doesn't have a clue. He'll probably be joining us here soon . . . great," he muttered, "There goes any hope of Danny boy coming to the rescue."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOX

"Major Matthews, is that you over?" Daniel spoke into the radio willing someone to respond as he trampled his way through the forest, not entirely sure he was even moving in the right direction.

"Someone please respond."

All Daniel received in response was the crackle of static, "Damn it," he muttered raking a hand back and forth through his hair. Where were they?

"Colonel O'Neill, is that you sir, over?"

"Yes!" Daniel screamed in elation as he picked up his radio and transmitted again, "This is Daniel Jackson; I need to speak to Major Matthews, over."

"This is Matthews. We radioed in three hours ago but received no reply, what's going on? Over."

"Cut a long story short, Major. I need your help to free the rest of SG-1 from the Frosyans that have kept them captive in the city. We need back up, over."

"Roger that, we're heading in your direction right now, over and out."

Placing the radio back into his pocket, Daniel willed the rest of his team mates to hold on just a little longer. Making himself comfortable on the leaf and twig laden forest floor, he waited for help to arrive.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOX

It seemed the Frosyans had left for the night. They hadn't been visited by anyone once since they'd been dumped in this cage, and though Jack couldn't exactly tell because of the noticeable lack of windows, he was pretty sure it was dark out. Teal'c was sat in the shadows in the corner of the tiny room, whilst Sam was up against the back wall, her eyes having fluttered shut merely minutes ago.

He was staring at her quite unabashedly, not that that wasn't what he hadn't been doing the entire time since they'd found her, but now she was asleep, he could stare to his hearts content without worrying about being caught.

From his own point of view, he couldn't honestly be blamed from looking in her direction every few seconds to check she was still there and still breathing. The past few weeks Jack had been a dead man walking. He'd been a man teetering the very brink of darkness he'd only just escaped a few years ago, the darkness that had consumed him when his son had died; but now he had resurfaced, quenching his thirst like a man who'd been without water for too impossibly long. Rationality had nothing to do with his fear that should he even close his eyes for a fraction of a second, she might be gone again. Rationality had had no part to play in hugging her earlier either.

Sure, he'd hugged her numerous times before, but this time he had unwittingly channelled his heart and soul into that single physical contact, willing Sam to understand what he couldn't express into words even if it had been lawful. And she had. He'd felt it; returning the feelings wholeheartedly and passionately back to him. He had been overjoyed, the heady sensation of having her alive in his arms had however eclipsed the sordid truth. But sitting here now with the dim light of the cell casting disfigured shadows around him, watching the slight rise and fall of her chest, reality hit him like the proverbial ton of bricks.

Should they get out of this mess, Jack would be forced to burn Sam's beautiful letter, forget that she had ever made such a declaration and deny having ever laid eyes on such a thing. And so Jack was left with the morose understanding that nothing had really changed at all. The great barrier that was the Air Force still remained and they would be forced to continue to stand on either side.

But Jack wasn't sure he could do that anymore, he wasn't sure he could fall back into the old team dynamics again. He loved what he did but being brutally honest with himself; he wasn't getting any younger, and as selfish as it sounded, didn't he deserve a little bit happiness too?

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOX

It had taken three hours for Major Matthews and his team to find Daniel and give him an impromptu heart attack; sitting alone in the dark in the middle of a huge forest was enough to scare the living daylights out of anyone.

"Any idea where they're being kept?" The Major asked, reloading his guns.

Daniel rubbed a hand over his tired face, "I assume they're being imprisoned somewhere in the city. Best bet is the underground of the Council's Headquarters."

"And you've seen them?"

"Seen what?"

"The underground tunnels?"

Daniel shook his head, "I'm only presuming. I don't know for sure but there's no real alternative."

Matthews nodded his head, "Ok, well I guess we'll just have to hope you're right. I radioed the SGC before we left and informed General Hammond of our situation. Back up will be sent through the Stargate if we do not make radio contact again in six hours time."

'This is good', Daniel thought to himself, they may just be able to make this work, "So what's the plan?"

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXXOXOX

A/N 2: Thanks for all the reviews for the last chapter, it was great to know that people are still interested in this story, and if it isn't apparent by my quickest update yet, I'm trying to finish this story really soon, somehow I figure uni's gonna put a damper on my muse. I do however have the next chapter typed and ready to be uploaded, so please let me know what you thought by leaving a much craved review and I may just have it up on Friday! Thanks!


	16. Exhaustion's Resolve

**Say Goodbye to Yesterday**

**Disclaimer: **Belongs to whoever owns it; definitely not me

**Rating:** PG-13

**Pairing:** Sam/Jack

**Summary: '**His eyes now red with strained unshed tears, Daniel softened his voice, "She's dead Jack. Sam's dead."' After a tragic accident; the entire SGC is left reeling . . . including Sam . . .

**Author's Note: **This is set somewhere in season 7, pre-Pete.

**Chapter Sixteen**

Exhaustion's Resolve

Sam's eyes opened with unsurprising ease, subconsciously well aware of their confinement within the dimly lit prison cell. It may have been shining brightly on the Kingdom of Frosya but Sam had no way of knowing and she didn't really care either. On opening her eyes, her gaze quite instinctively fell upon the Colonel.

Jack was sat against the side wall of the cell, the right side of his body pressed up against the iron bars. His position gave Sam the perfect opportunity to study his profile. He was as handsome as she remembered but there was a more deep rooted darkness in him that made her heart silently cry. Underneath that sarcastic and light hearted outer shell, Sam had always known there was a darkness that lingered inside of him, a seriousness that had added unnecessary years to his life without actually having added a day at all. She hated to think that she had been the one to once again dim the light behind his eyes.

Crawling over to him on hands and knees, she sat next to his long outstretched legs. He was still staring blankly out in front of him; his eyes open but not seeing.

"Sir?" she said softly. He didn't hear her. "Jack?" she said again, this time gently grasping his upper arm. Jumping slightly, Jack's unfocussed eyes cleared as he set them upon the blonde Major staring at him. Shaking himself from the lingering remnants of his reverie, irrational concern overwhelmed him, "What's wrong? Are you ok?"

Sam smiled, "I'm fine sir, are you?"

The Colonel shifted slightly to face her, "Yeah I'm fine." The 'why?' remained unvoiced but Sam heard it nevertheless.

"It's just . . . you don't seem yourself, sir."

"I don't?" the lack of humour behind such a response was answer enough. Neither officer smiled. The awkward silence expanded between them before Jack let out a tired sigh. Knowing it was still highly inappropriate for them to be talking about this so freely, he couldn't help but feel the pull to come clean to her, as clean as the defences around his heart would allow him.

"I thought I lost you," he whispered so quietly Sam almost never heard it. And once she finally registered what he'd said she was half wishing she hadn't.

He was no longer looking at her but at some distant mark on the far wall, "Hell, we really did lose you. God Sam, we thought you were dead."

Sam winced; she couldn't imagine what it had felt like for them all.

He shook his head, "I'm just so tired of it all. All we do is put our lives at risk day in day out, and for what? For who? When do we ever do anything for ourselves?" It was a selfish thought and he knew it but he couldn't help the bitterness creeping up on him, "For all we put into our jobs they're never gonna let us have what we want." He was looking at her now; heated chocolate eyes melting icy blue ones and feeding the glowing embers with the oxygen they both so desperately sought. "Not even now," Jack whispered, "They won't ever let us go."

And Sam could find no answer to that, simple because there was none. It had taken this near tragedy for Jack to finally open up to her. He may not have said it as such, but Sam knew what he meant, he didn't need to say it. They had left their feelings locked up in that room all those years ago and now Jack was asking her permission to finally throw that key away. He couldn't do this to himself anymore. They had never really spoke of their feelings again after the Zay'tarc incident but it had kept them bound to each other, leaving them going around in perpetual cycles. He was only asking for what was rightfully his – he was asking to be cut free, and though it would break Sam's heart to do it, she couldn't deny him that.

Reaching out, she cupped his face with one hand and whispered, "I know." Jack's eyes closed as his head drooped forward resting against Sam's. He didn't see her salty tears but felt them on the skin of his fingers as he held her. The sudden wetness on his skin startled him, withdrawing from her slightly he looked down at her, his hands still cradling her face. "I'm never letting you go again Sam. You're not going anywhere, and that's an order." He willed her to understand.

Sam's eyes widened, clouded over with confusion, "But I thought . . . I thought . . ."

"Thought what?" he smiled.

Sam stared at him. A glint of mischief sparkling in the depth of his eyes, but what shone brighter than anything was his love for her and her breath caught in her throat. With an intensifying blush she realised she had jumped to the wrong conclusion. What she saw was not the exhaustion of when he had first spoken but the resolve and growing hope to pursue something they surely deserved after nearly seven years of saving Earth.

Sam was momentarily floored, "Are you sure, sir?"

The Colonel smiled wryly, "Jack."

Sam blushed again, "Are you sure Jack?"

"If this has taught me anything, it's that you only live once, well in your case 'twice', and so you've got to seize what you can with both hands."

Grinning Sam replied, "That sounded suspiciously like a cliché."

Jack shrugged, "Well I think the occasion merits it."

Sam nodded, "Oh of course, romantic declarations in a prison cell before guards come dragging us off in opposite directions – definitely cliché."

"Hey I haven't declared anything of the sort."

"Well neither have I."

Jack's mind instantly sprung back to the letter safely tucked away at home, he would have brought it up but decided that was for another conversation. And so instead he said, "Well at least they can't court martial us then."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

"How shall we proceed my Lord?"

The man to whom this was addressed was clothed in his customary attire; a rather dauntingly large black cloak and was standing erect on a platform as the Frosyan who had asked the question kneeled before him.

"We still need the woman; she is not to be harmed. The other two are to remain imprisoned until I find a use for them."

Toron bowed his head, "Yes my Lord."

"What progress had been made prior to this incursion?"

"Regretfully, none my Lord."

Lord Frosya appeared none too pleased with such an answer, "Bring her to me."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

"How shall we proceed O'Neill?" Teal'c asked. Jack could always rely on him to get them focussed and back on track; the only problem this time was that he didn't really have an answer. There were three guards posted outside, and as stupid as they looked, those no-brainers weren't going to hand over the keys just because he remembered to add a 'pretty please.'

"If I had a plan D, I'd have told you already."

Sam looked up at him, "Plan D?" she mouthed silently.

Jack shook his head at her, "Don't ask."

Her expression replaced the words 'okaay then . . .' deciding she'd rather voice her decidedly more important sentiments.

"You know sir, they haven't found Daniel yet. If he was going to get caught, he should have been caught already, which means-"

"He's still out there," Jack nodded, "Well let us hope."

"Hope for what Colonel?"

Grimacing Jack turned around and found him facing the mad scientist and Hans the pain in the ass.

"For a nicer view maybe?" Jack returned smoothly staring pointedly at the two less than handsome Frosyans.

"If you cooperate then we will see if that can be arranged."

"That's great, thank you," Jack smiled with an overly syrupy charm. If Toron or Hans caught on to the Colonel's flippancy, they made no show of it.

"We would like Major Carter to accompany us."

And just like that the Colonel's tone flipped on its head and hardened, "I don't think so." The words had a very déjà vu feeling to them, but that didn't mean Jack was any less serious. Letting Sam out of his sight would never again be an option he would ever agree to.

"We would prefer not having to resort to force."

Jack scoffed, "Of course you wouldn't _force _anyone to build a bomb for genocide for you, would you?"

Hans quite easily ignored the barb and nodded to the guards to unlock the cell. If Jack had been armed with a single weapon he might have taken his chances and tried to get passed the guards as they opened up the cell, but without even so much as a measly little knife, the probability of escaping was close to nil.

The guards were quickly approaching Sam, their intent perfectly clear. Sam, had quite calmly stood up, preparing herself to be dragged goodness knew where, but there'd be hell if Jack was just going to stand there and watch her being taken. Marching forward, he planted himself firmly between Sam and the two guards.

"I said," he spat, "I don't think so."

The guards looked neither nonplussed nor amused as they moved forward to not so kindly shove the uncooperative Colonel out of the way, but they found their target being propelled backwards.

Sam having grabbed a hold of the Colonel's hand tugged him away from the guards.

"I'll be fine," she whispered when he fixed her with an intense glare.

Jack didn't look convinced.

"They won't hurt me. They need me remember."

He still didn't look convinced.

"Jack," she said, "I'll be back, I promise." With that she squeezed his hand, hoping he wouldn't fight her on this. She could literally see him struggling inside and then he squeezed back, his decision made, "Fine, I'm holding you to that promise though Major."

Sam smiled, "Yes sir."

Letting go of the comfort of the warm hand, Sam moved passed him. Two guards grabbed hold of each of her arms and pulled her forward. Once outside the cell, the third guard relocked the cell. Sam gave both the Colonel and Teal'c one final glance over her left shoulder before disappearing out the door, followed closely by Toron and Hans.

Jack knew Sam wasn't a liar, but he couldn't help but feel ill at ease, "Hurry up Daniel," he whispered into the stale air, hoping his friend had miraculously heard him somehow.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

A/N 2: That conversation between Sam and Jack at the beginning of this chapter had a mind of its own; at one point I seriously did think I was gonna leave it all angsty with Sam and Jack accepting that nothing was gonna happen between them, that way I could have linked it into the season 7 storyline and Sam could move on with Pete . . . but I really really don't like Pete . . . so I changed my mind! Let me know what you think, please leave a review!


End file.
